


Memories

by 2jaekisses



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, bc im actually terrible at it but its there if you squint, hints at smut, please dont hate jaebum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-07 02:08:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11613717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2jaekisses/pseuds/2jaekisses
Summary: Youngjae wasn’t supposed to fall head over heels in love with Jaebum. They had an agreement; they both wanted to experiment, so why not experiment with each other? But this experiment went on for years.Youngjae wouldn’t ask Jaebum if he wanted to do something, he always hinted and Jaebum took the hint with a happy heart and a big smile. He was a flirt, always sending Youngjae glances and smirks when no one was looking, teasing Youngjae, acting cute when they were alone. “I’d do anything for you,” he’d say.Anything except staying.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back with another fic!! Please tell me your thoughts on it, i'd love to improve on anything! I've been writing this for a while adding/changing stuff here and there so it's really close to me. 
> 
> italics are memories and bold are texts!

He set up about fifteen alarms. He knew he was a heavy sleeper, and tomorrow is his first day at his new job (a job that he’s been wanting since he his junior year of high school; a music director) so he didn’t want to be late. 

As soon as he shut his eyes, he felt a bubbly feeling rise in his stomach. This is going to be a new chapter in his life, he’s finally going to have a fresh new start. Nothing will remind him of the past he’s been desperately trying to leave behind. He’s never going to get any sleep, so he opened a book.

**

Youngjae stood outside the record company, walking back and forth. It’s a new chapter of his life, he wanted this to go right so badly. He’s going to do what he always wanted, even though he’s only an intern he’s still experiencing the good things about being in a record company. 

He looked at his watch and saw there are about ten minutes left until 9AM, so he figured he has no more time to waste. He took a deep breath and went inside. He checked in at the front desk and the secretary told him to go to the 5th floor where Park JinYoung is expecting him. So he got on the elevator and headed to where he was told, he kept taking deep breaths to settle his fluttering heart. 

_“Youngjae, I know you will do well!” he smiled at him with such an endearing smile that Youngjae believed he could actually do this. He could go up on stage and sing in front of the whole school. Youngjae took a deep breath and smiled at his best friend. His best friend that had the warmest smile Youngjae has ever seen, his best friend that gave him the most amazing hugs. His best friend that always believed in him. His best friend who was the most handsome man Youngjae has ever set eyes on. He looked at him one more time and his best friend gave him a cheek kiss, soft lips met soft skin, that turned into smiles against soft skin, that turned into warm hugs and hair ruffles. “You’re the most talented person I know,” he sent an encouraging smile towards Youngjae. And Youngjae felt like he could take over the world._

The elevator door opened and Youngjae stepped out. He followed the instructions he was given in an email sent out a few days ago and found the room he was supposed to be at. He opened the door to see a few people working at their desks and found a plaque that read “Park JinYoung”. He looked up at him and smiled, and Youngjae swore he almost went blind! 

He looked familiar, but Youngjae couldn’t put his finger on where he knew him from.

Youngjae walked towards him and bowed and introduced himself. “You’re right on time,” he looked through a stack of papers on his desk. “Ah, here we go.” He looked through Youngjae’s resume and Youngjae became a little nervous. “You will learn a lot here! Let’s meet your co-workers, shall we?” They passed by each desk and he introduced himself, being polite and formal. Everyone seemed nice enough, but it’s only the first day. 

There was one desk that was empty though, but Jinyoung passed by it without saying anything. Youngjae wondered if that was his desk…

“You’ll be here, get settled in and you’ll meet everyone else in a little bit. We have a meeting before lunch. I want you to take notes and present them to me after.” Youngjae nodded, satisfied with the small task. “Until then, organize these files for me, and grab these ones from the file room next door.” 

“This might seem odd, but you look very familiar.” 

“We had a seminar together and worked on an in-class assignment,” Youngjae felt his face heat up. It was so easy for Jinyoung to remember him, but Youngjae couldn’t remember anything except the feeling of knowing him.

“We’re the same age?!” 

“No, I’m older by two years. The seminar was one of my last classes and I put it off for a long time. So I took if before I graduated.” There goes that smile, and the crinkles that formed around his eyes were very cute! 

“I see. Hyung,” he smiled back and hoped he looked as good doing it as Jinyoung did.

He laid his jacket on his desk chair and began organizing the files, and he took his time, there weren’t many and he had hours until lunch. An hour passed by and Youngjae was done with the organizing of the files, so he took the list of files he needed to get with him to the files room. It was an old room and it wreaked of dust, he coughed a few times and felt his lungs on fire. 

It must have been 30 minutes when Youngjae had to take a break and breathe into his shirt. A door opened and Youngjae looked back at the poor soul that will share the dustiness of this room with him. But not the dust, or the growling of his stomach crossed his mind when he saw who came in the room. 

_He_ stood at the door, looking as perfect as Youngjae remembered with his raven hair styled up and his sharp nose and those cursed earrings. He stood there unmoving, looking at Youngjae like he has 3 heads. If he cracks a smile just about now, Youngjae swears he might leap into his arms.

Yet he stood still, his knuckles turning white at the door handle.

It must have been a few minutes before he moved towards Youngjae. His eyes never leaving the younger boy, he stood in front of him, barely a few inches between them. His breathing was fast and shaky and Youngjae swears he might be the one who cracks a smile first. Because there he stood; the man he has been in love with since the 9th grade. The man who no one could compare to. No one could ever match up to him. Youngjae didn’t know how but he felt his hand reach up and cup the man’s face, his thumb brushed his cheeks.

Soft as ever. 

“Youngjae?” he breathed, stressing each syllable as if he were dreaming. His eyebrows furrowed as if he didn’t believe what he was seeing in front of him. “Jae?” At the nickname, Youngjae swore he felt a shock travel throughout his body. And he hugged him. He slammed his body against Youngjae’s and breathed him in, a hand holding on to Youngjae’s head securing him in his hold, the other wrapped tightly around his back. And that’s when reality crashed around Youngjae. He took a step back, looked at his shoes and the memories flooded back. The memories he tried to push at the back of his mind for almost five years. All the suppressed memories came rushing back as soon as he heard his voice.

The voice that, as soon as Youngjae recalled their memories, would calm Youngjae during college nights when he was too stressed during finals week. The voice that would call him in the morning before a big test in high school and tell him how he’s the smartest and cutest sunshine on planet earth. That voice, that got him through four years without his best friend. His best friend who he planned his whole college career with, who he planned on being friends with for the rest of his life. The voice that breathed his name in the most intimate moments, when Youngjae’s house was empty and they were both high on teenage hormones. Fake promises filled his lonely heart and he believed every single one. Every promise that came from those pretty lips of Jaebum, Youngjae believed it all. Because Jaebum was warm and sincere, in those moments, and Youngjae could see galaxies in his eyes. He wanted to live in Jaebum’s eyes, it was the only place he could be himself; he could be exposed and he would feel okay. Jaebum held no judgments, and Youngjae felt like he was the center of Jaebum’s world.

_What a joke._

He maneuvered around Jaebum and left the dusty room as fast as his feet would move, the files long forgotten. He looked for the bathroom before his vision became blurry with tears threatening to fall and his breath getting stuck in his lungs. 

_“Breathe, Youngjae.” A warm hand circled his back. “Slow and steady, baby. One, two, three and breathe. One, two, three and breathe.”_

This is the only thing that calms his beating heart.

**

After washing his face, Youngjae returned to get the files from the file room. Thankfully, Jaebum wasn’t there. He didn’t know how to face him, if he even could! Youngjae hasn’t done anything wrong, he isn’t the one who left out of the blue, but he was angry and he didn’t want to break down in front of the guy that left him without a word. Because he loved him, and Jaebum broke his heart. 

Youngjae wasn’t supposed to fall head over heels in love with Jaebum. They had an agreement; they both wanted to experiment, so why not experiment with each other and see what they liked? But this experiment went on for four years, all of Youngjae’s high school years and Jaebum’s last two of high school and first two of college. 

Youngjae wouldn’t ask Jaebum if he wanted to do something, he always hinted and Jaebum took the hint with a happy heart and a big smile. He was a flirt, always sending Youngjae glances and smirks when no one was looking, teasing Youngjae, acting cute when they were alone. _“I’d do anything for you,” he’d say._

Anything except staying.

When he reached the office he gave Jinyoung what he asked for, he went back to his desk and found a list of things to do before the meeting. Youngjae happily did everything on the list to get his mind away from the earlier events. 

**

He really couldn’t handle his emotions, he tried all the techniques his therapist taught him over the years but nothing worked. They threatened to rise and he had nowhere to hide them, so he rushed to the only person who knew how to calm him down now. And when he got there he saw the person who made his emotions rise up like this. 

He saw the boy he’s been desperately in love with ever since he knew what falling in love meant. The boy that ran away from him a few moments ago like Jaebum was a disease. And it hurt. It fucking hurt to have him not even be a little glad to see him after all these years. 

“JB,” he turned to see a concerned Jinyoung. “JB, what’s wrong?”

“Come with me,” he took Jinyoung’s hand and dragged him out of the room and to an empty one. 

“JB, breathe!” his hands on Jaebum’s shoulders didn’t really help so much right now. 

“He’s here!” he almost yelled and grabbed fistfuls of his hair. 

“Who?” 

“Youngjae.” 

“OK, Jaebum. Breathe, and sit down. Let’s talk about this,” he was calm, and his voice was smooth and low. Jaebum has to admit it helped a bit. 

“Youngjae is here and he can’t even stand to look at me, Jinyoung!” Jinyoung’s hand on Jaebum’s thigh helped quit the nerves that made Jaebum jiggle his legs. “He’s here, Jinyoung.” If his whispers might sound like a desperate plea for help, it’s because they were. He felt an enormous amount of guilt for what he did to Youngjae. He thought he wouldn’t see him again after college, so he pushed the guilt away and now it’s all pouring right out of him. All the nightmares he’s had about how much Youngjae cried, how betrayed he must have felt, it all came rushing back and he felt like a complete asshole. 

“Jaebum, it’ll be alright.” Jinyoung’s arms wrapped around Jaebum. “I promise.” 

“Did you know?” Jinyoung pulled back and gave him a confused look. “Did you know he’d be here today?” 

“I had my suspicions that it would be him but I didn’t know for sure. The picture on his resume looked familiar, but I couldn’t remember where I knew him from.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he pushed his hands off of him and got up to pace around the room.

“Because I got his file after he got hired. I’m not in charge of hiring, you know!” 

“What am I going to do?” 

“What do you _want_ to do?”

“I want him back!”

“Then get him back!”

**

“Youngjae,” Jinyoung called out to him. “Time to go,” he waited for him by the door, so Youngjae grabbed a notebook and followed his team leader.

He wanted to ask about Jaebum, he wanted to know what got him to paranoid earlier. To be completely honest, Youngjae was worried. Jaebum looked like he was having a breakdown, but what for? He didn’t know if he could ask Jinyoung, considering that they might very well be very close friends. Jaebum doesn’t ask anyone for help when he’s having an emotional breakdown, so Jinyoung must be very special. 

But he let that go, it’s none of his business anymore. “So what things should I look out for?”

“When someone repeats something but they say it in a different way, write it down. If someone asks a question write it down with the answer, make note of figures and sales, trends, that sort of thing.” 

When they reached the meeting room, Youngjae and Jinyoung took their seats closer to the speaker. 

Youngjae kept himself busy while he waited until the presentation started by writing down the date and the reason for the meeting. He felt eyes on him, but he didn’t look up. It was probably because he’s new and people were curious as to who he is. But with a few minutes passing and the feeling of being watched still itched his skin, he dared to look up. And when he did he felt a pang of electricity travel through his whole body.

 _Jaebum._

Jaebum was staring at him from across the table, and making it obvious, with those dangerous eyes of his. But once Youngjae caught Jaebum’s eyes, he couldn’t look away. The way Jaebum was lazily sitting in his chair, curious eyes on Youngjae sent bubbly thoughts throughout Youngjae’s body. All the happy moments when they were in bed and Jaebum was straddling him and giving him the same hungry and curious look came rushing back. Youngjae couldn’t help the heat that rushed to his face when that memory was followed by one where Jaebum would leave trails of kisses down Youngjae’s cheek all the way down to his collarbones. The memory of those lips on his skin, the gentle contact that would leave Youngjae in frustration and need every time, it all came rushing back.

“Stop staring at my intern,” Jinyoung next to him popped the memory bubble that was growing inside Youngjae’s mind. Jinyoung spoke to Jaebum informally, which could either mean that Jinyoung is older than Jaebum or that they are friends. 

“Maybe you should pick ugly interns then,” Jaebum’s eyes didn’t leave Youngjae’s. And Youngjae felt his whole body go cold. He’s never done well under Jaebum’s stare.

_“God damn, Youngjae!” Jaebum’s breath tickled Youngjae’s inner thigh while his fingers dug into his upper thighs. “You’re so beautiful,” they locked eyes and Youngjae felt a hotness pool in his stomach, the sight of Jaebum’s head peeking between Youngjae’s thighs was something out of this world. He placed a hungry kiss on Youngjae’s inner thigh. “So fucking soft,” another kiss. “So fucking perfect,” another kiss. Jaebum’s soft and raspy voice alone sent Youngjae on a thrill._

“Maybe you should be less of a creep.” Jaebum scoffed and broke his gaze from Youngjae’s. 

Youngjae tried to focus on getting his notes ready, but it was hard when you have someone like Jaebum watching every movement you make. 

When the presentation was over, Jinyoung and Youngjae made their way back to the office. “Youngjae,” there it is. Saying his name again. So Youngjae turned around and faced him, heart thumping in his ear.

_“Bummie?” the boy gave Youngjae a lazy smile at his favorite nickname. “Will we be friends forever?”_

_“I will never leave you,” he pushed Youngjae closer to himself and placed a small kiss in his hair. “You’ll be the death of me, Youngjae!” Jaebum tightened his arms around the younger boy’s shoulders._

“Can we talk?” Youngjae knew the look on Jaebum’s face, he was nervous. 

Youngjae scoffed, of course they couldn’t talk. After nearly five years Jaebum thinks he could just get Youngjae aside and make him do whatever he wants? Those days are long over. And he isn’t going to listen to whatever he says. “What do you think?”

“Youngjae please,” he almost got a hold of Youngjae’s hand, but Youngjae was faster and swatted it away. Sure, he misses him like hell, having him close right now made Youngjae’s heart beat faster than it ever did in all those five years he and Jaebum were apart. With just a single look, Jaebum had him weaker than any man ever had that he’s ever met in that period of time. Jaebum had some sort of godly power over him. With one look, he could make him do anything he wanted.

He wanted to say no, wanted to leave him hanging like he did him. But his body betrayed him and he nodded, giving in.

Jinyoung turned to Jaebum, “Behave,” and Jaebum rolled his eyes. And then Jinyoung turned to Youngjae, “We can go over the notes when you get back from lunch,” Jinyoung said, Youngjae forgot he was even still there, and headed back to the office alone but not before giving Jaebum a long look.

“Do you still like chicken feet?” Jaebum asked, hands now in his pockets. Youngjae nodded. He wanted to speak, to say something, _anything_. But his mouth wouldn’t follow the command. “I know a nice place.” 

They walked together, with Youngjae’s thoughts all over the place. He wanted to be angry at Jaebum for leaving him. He promised he wouldn’t, but then he left and didn’t even call him. He wanted to punch him for hurting him; they were best friends. They promised they’d be best friends forever and there wasn’t a reason why they wouldn’t be. They planned on going to the same college, working at the same company even if they had different jobs they both wanted to do something with music. Why did Jaebum change in the blink of an eye?


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Youngjae gets a bit feisty and then turns soft for his bummie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a bit longer bc i thought i marked it as 2 chapters but in word its 'ch2' twice haha oh my god. anyway i hope you like this! it has a bit more background info and some nice memories.

_He sent Jaebum a text that he was outside his door at 1AM, it took him about a minute to open the door with the happiest look on his face. He grabbed Youngjae by his shirt and pulled him in, showering him in kisses and falling on Jaebum’s bed. Laughing softly to not wake up the other people in the dorm. “How did you get past the front desk?”_

_“I told them I’m your younger brother and I’ve been kicked out of our house,” Youngjae bit his lips._

_“This bad boy phase where you’re sneaking out at night to come to me is turning me on!”_

_“Goo-_

Youngjae was pulled out of his memory when he was grabbed by his wrist, “Careful!” He adjusted his eyesight and saw cars going by. He almost walked into traffic. He looked at the hand resting warmly on his wrist. He followed the arm to find Jaebum looking at him with warm eyes.

Eyes that he missed so much. Eyes that he wanted to be angry at but couldn’t find the heart to be harsh towards.

He swatted Jaebum’s hand and looked away, but Jaebum grabbed his hand and pulled him across the street. Youngjae didn’t have time to protest and Jaebum’s hold was tight. But he’d be lying if he said he totally hated it. It reminded him of just how easily Jaebum could send his heart fluttering into cloud cloud nine by his simple touches. Holding hands was one of Youngjae’s favorite things to do with Jaebum after they would blow off steam after school. They would just lay in bed, Youngjae curled at Jaebum’s side and Jaebum pulling him closer, kissing the top of Youngjae’s head. It was all too much for Youngjae. He had spent years just wishing those times weren’t memories anymore, the nights he cried because he wanted his best friend back. He spent four years trying to figure out what he could’ve done wrong, what could he have done so wrong that Jaebum got so upset and removed him from his life? 

Jaebum slowed his walking and he opened the door to a small and cozy place, Youngjae walked in with Jaebum behind him, letting go of Youngjae’s hand after they sat in a booth. Jaebum also ordered for Youngjae.

As soon as the waiter was out of sight, Youngjae got the willpower to speak. “What do you want, Jaebum?” 

Jaebum swallowed and took a deep breath. “We can talk after we eat.” He fiddled with the food utensils. 

“No, now.”

“Wh- “ 

“What do you think we even have to talk about?” Jaebum looked at him wide eyed. “What is there left to talk about? I haven’t seen you in almost five years! So tell me, are we going to talk about your neighbors? Problems in your life? The weather?” Youngjae wanted to be calm, but his anger is beginning to rise, all the hurt he’s pushed away is coming to the surface. And he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to hurt Jaebum like he hurt him, even just a little, even if didn’t actually want to hurt him. He just wanted him to feel what he went through.

“Young-“

“Why did you leave?” Youngjae’s nails dug in his hands under the table. “Why did you never call? Or visit me? _We were best friends!_ We planned on going to the same college, we were going to sneak off at 3AM and go to the ocean. You promised me that we’d go on a vacation to one of those islands couples go to after graduation, but then you left. You promised me you would never leave. And then you did exactly that. _Why did you leave me?_ Was I not good enough for you anymore?” Youngjae didn’t care that he was about to cry, the shop is empty and he didn’t even care if it weren’t. He needed answers, four years worth.

But Jaebum didn’t say anything, he just looked in his lap like a guilty puppy. And Youngjae was a little satisfied to know that what he did was wrong.

“Are you really not going to say anything?”

“Young-“

“What?!” 

“I’m sorry,” Jaebum’s voice was raspy and he still wasn’t looking at Youngjae. “Youngjae, I’m so sorry,” he stole a glance at Youngjae for a second, and his eyes were watering but Youngjae didn’t have time to feel bad for him, he was on a high and he was confident in the face of the man who made his life a living hell. He couldn’t eat, or sleep, or focus on anything like a normal person. Jaebum consumed his thoughts, he occupied his every thought throughout the day for years. Every time he would see something, _anything_ , he would think of Jaebum. He once saw someone wear a black hat in one of his lectures, and he felt like he was going to burst out in tears at any moment because it reminded him of the amount of black hats Jaebum used to have.

“Why?” Jaebum’s eyes _finally_ met his when Youngjae asked this.

“Wha-“

“Why are you sorry? What did you do? Did you do something wrong?” he knows he could do without the unnecessary questions, but hell, Jaebum deserves the harshness that came from Youngjae right now.

“I-“

“Are you sorry because you left? Are you sorry because you broke all your promises about our future and then you left? Are you sorry that I spent months not eating or sleeping because I blamed myself for you leaving?” Jaebum gave him a confidence that no one else can, and he got the words out before he even could think them through. He spat question after question at him, though they didn’t feel like questions. They were accusations because damn it! Jaebum deserved it. 

“I’m sorry,” his voice was shaky, and small, and quiet.

“I know, you said that already. Tell me why Jaebum, tell me why and I’ll forgive you. I swear I will.” He moved to sit next to him, all of the anger and hate he’s harbored subsided. Even the hate he felt a few seconds ago, gone. That’s just the effect Jaebum still has on him. Deep down he knew he wanted to forgive him and go back to the way things were, because even after all these years no one had made him feel the way Jaebum did.

And to be honest with himself, he might _actually_ forgive him! He could hate Jaebum for a few months, but he’s been in love with him for so long. They’ve been friends for so long, he’s seen all his highs and lows. He isn’t a bad guy; he knows there’s a reason behind it. But the natural angry response was still in Youngjae, and he needed to let it out. But there was no real, actual hate. Not when Jaebum is sitting right next to him and is actually vulnerable and on the edge of breaking down.

“Jae,” he whispered, a tear falling, staining his pants.

_“That’s just not fair, Jae!” Youngjae smiled at the new nickname that Jaebum has taken a liking to calling him. They were playing a video game at Jaebum’s house and Youngjae beat him for the third time._

_“It’s not my fault you lose every time, at every game.” Youngjae shrugged, got up and started to fumble with another video game._

_“Do you know what IS your fault, though?” Jaebum stood up and followed him. Youngjae felt Jaebum stalk behind him, a hand wrapping around his thin waist. “It’s your fault for being so freaking adorable.” He ghosted a kiss on Youngjae’s neck, and the automatic response that became so natural to Youngjae was to give Jaebum more neck to kiss. “So adorable,” he repeated. “My Jae,” another kiss, the hold on his waist tightening. “Mine,” a bite._

Before thinking about it, Youngjae took Jaebum’s hands in his, warming them up. He looked at Jaebum, face red and glassy eyes. Youngjae knows, when Jaebum’s face is this red he will begin crying soon. He didn’t know if he could handle a crying Jaebum right now, he’s already feeling like he might back down and downright forgive him just because he looked at his flushed face. 

“I’m here, Bummie,” at this, Jaebum looked Youngjae dead in the eyes. “Please tell me,” Youngjae stroked his hair away from his face and tried his best to keep his voice calm and soft. “Please tell me what I did that was so wrong to make you cut me out of your life,” his fingers traced Jaebum’s jaw.

“It’s not y-“

“No, Bummie. Please tell me, it’s okay. I can handle it,” his thumb brushed Jaebum’s cheek and he scooted closer. “I promise you I won’t be angry with you if you tell me. I’m not angry now, I just need answers.” 

“You’ll hate me even more,” Jaebum took Youngjae’s hand in his and brought it up to his chest, held on to it and squeezed.

“I could never hate you, silly Beommie!” he ruffled his hair and sent a smile his way. In those brief seconds, it was like time never passed and Jaebum never left. All Youngjae wanted was to see Jaebum smile right now and the small act of the hair ruffles was a small hope of that happening. And if it weren’t for Jaebum’s glassy eyes and the heartbreaking frown on his lips, Youngjae would have never done this or say those words to him. Of course, he didn’t hate Jaebum, not at this moment, but he didn’t want to admit it. Not right now at least. But that’s when Jaebum pulled Youngjae in for a tight hug and started to quietly sob. Youngjae sat there for a moment unsure of what to do. He hasn’t felt Jaebum’s hold around him in years, and he never thought their first touches again would be like this. He always thought that Jaebum would find him, tell him he’s sorry and he’s been possessed or something dramatic, he’d kiss him and beg him to take him back and tell him he’d never leave him again. 

“I’m sorry,” Jaebum whispered into Youngjae’s sweater. “I’m so sorry.”

But he never imagined Jaebum to sob for forgiveness in his arms. He never imagined Jaebum showing so much emotion in public.

The only times Youngjae has seen Jaebum cry like this was when he told his family about his sexuality during his senior year of high school and when his father died. So he knew that this is a serious thing. 

So Youngjae wrapped his arms around Jaebum and he let him cry his heart out. He stroked his hair and shushed his sobs. Jaebum’s hold tightened and he buried his face in Youngjae’s shirt. It’s been four years, almost five, since Jaebum has been this close to Youngjae. So for the time being, the younger let himself go just a little bit, he smelled Jaebum’s hair, rubbed his back, _and let himself feel Jaebum’s presence_. Things he probably won’t be able to do again. 

“I miss you so much,” he whispered in Youngjae’s neck. Youngjae missed him too, and wanted to say it back too but his mouth wouldn’t move. So he settled for rubbing his back. 

As Jaebum grew quiet, he slowly pulled himself away from Youngjae. But not before stopping in front of the younger’s lips, Jaebum’s puffy and red eyes fixed on them. He didn’t know if Jaebum was going to kiss him, and he didn’t know if he had the power to stop him. 

A kiss from Jaebum used to chase away all of Youngjae’s doubts and worries, all his sadness, his anxiety. Jaebum didn’t know it back then, because neither of them had the guts to actually talk about what they were getting themselves into. But it wasn’t an experiment for Youngjae, every time they were together it felt like Jaebum was all his. It felt like Jaebum was doing this out of genuine love and not complete lust and the need for a release like they originally planned. 

But what would it do now? He’s missed him so much, dreamt of having those lips on his skin even when he shared his bed with someone else. Jaebum was always on his mind. He was glued to every cell in his brain. And now he had the real thing, inches away from him, waiting on any movement. 

It would be so easy to just lean forward and feel Jaebum, so easy to tangle his fingers in the soft locks like he used to do in the past. If he would just let himself move…

But then the present slapped Youngjae in the face and reminded him of the nights he spent throwing up after crying because of what Jaebum did. The many nights he still spends on the bathroom floor hating himself because he drove Jaebum away. 

So he pushed Jaebum away gently and wiped his tears away. He pressed his lips and went back to his seat. “I’m sorry,” Jaebum said with his head hung low, voice hoarse from the sobbing. And Youngjae didn’t know how to answer him, what could he say other than the generic ‘it’s okay’? When things weren’t okay at all? 

They spent a few minutes in silence before their food came out, the atmosphere made more awkward with the overly happy waitress. 

Neither of them wanted to eat, Jaebum’s red and swollen face twisted knots in Youngjae’s stomach. He looked so fragile, so unlike his usual sharp and intimidating look. Youngjae almost felt bad for making Jaebum get so emotional, but he had to remind himself that he also cried like this. Worse than this. 

But he couldn’t do that to Jaebum. Jaebum who always looked out for him, who has been his guiding hand throughout his life. He was confused, there was no reason for Jaebum to leave Youngjae. They were happy! So happy. So why did he? What did Youngjae do to make the older boy so sick of him that he just threw all their memories away like they were nothing? He wanted to ask, he wanted to scream at Jaebum and demand answers. But he didn’t want the older boy to cry again. 

He just might cave in completely. 

“Eat Jaebum,” the older looked at him with a confused look. “Eat up and we can talk later.”

They ate in silence, they walked back to work in silence. It was excruciating; Youngjae wanted to say something and yet again he didn’t have the right words. So he walked in silence and began working on whatever assignment Jinyoung had ready for him. 

As he began to walk out of the office to go home, Youngjae noticed Jinyoung in Jaebum’s office. Jinyoung was relaxed on a chair in front of Jaebum’s desk, while Jaebum looked like he was in trouble, his hair sticking out in different directions as though he’d been pulling it out. 

**  
“You’re giving me a headache,” Jinyoung rubbed his temple.

“He looks _so_ good!” he paced around the office, he couldn’t contain his emotions. “ _He’s blond!_ Jinyoung, I wanted to pull him out of that conference room and just eat him up! Even when he’s angry at me he still looks so fucking good, _god damn!_ ” he huffed and plopped on the couch. 

He saw Jinyoung roll his eyes, maybe he shouldn’t be telling him this but he had no one else. “Are you going to contain your boner?” 

Jaebum snorted, “Why? Wanna take care of it for me?” He flipped through the papers on his desk. He didn’t see it, but he knows Jinyoung is blushing right now.

“W-what happened at lunch?”

“I cried,” he hung his head low. He messed it up before it even ha a change to begin. How could he cry so easily? Of course, his emotions were on an all time high when Youngjae looked at him with his big brown eyes, but how could he just lose it and reach out for him like he’s been deprived of all comfort!? He had, to be truthful, nothing has comforted him like Youngjae did. But he didn’t have to throw away the image he’s been building up all these years just because he saw his Jae again. 

But who wouldn’t cry when those sweet eyes looked like they’d rather look at a wall dry up instead of casting one glance his way? how could he not cry when Youngjae was throwing questions at him at full blast? It was too much, the guilt built up and he couldn’t hold anything in. He couldn’t believe that he made him feel like that, he never intended to make Youngjae feel bad about anything at all. Youngjae, his precious Jae, only deserved happiness in his life.

“It’ll be okay, hyung,” like a fool, Jaebum believed him. Because Jinyoung is his best friend and he wouldn’t lie to him. He wouldn’t tell him something just to tend to his wounds. And he called him hyung, which he really didn’t have to do because no one else was around. So Jaebum trusted him.

**

As soon as Youngjae stepped foot into his own place, he called out for him. Hoping he could drown all of the day’s events in one of his warm hugs. But that never came, “I’m in here,” he found him in the kitchen stirring a pot. He sent a smile his way, a smile that would’ve cheered up Youngjae in a matter of seconds any other day, yet it failed to make him feel anything at this moment. 

“How was your first day of work?” He sent a big smile accompanying curious eyes his way.

“Tiring,” was the only thing Youngjae could say. He wanted to tell him about his day, but Mark never liked Jaebum in the first place. So to tell him that he’s working at the same company would be asking for a headache. 

“Babe, taste this for me.” Mark held up the wooden spoon up to Youngjae’s mouth, waiting for him to open up. And he did, he tried to go on about his day, act like he never saw Jaebum. Taste Mark’s food, joke with him, watch TV, play with their dog. But of course he failed. Jaebum was in the air he breathed, no matter what he does he could never forget him for even a second.

Even when he’s next to Mark in their bed, all his thoughts were on Jaebum. The need to be held by him, to have him look into his eyes, to tell him everything was going to be okay was overwhelming. Youngjae finally found him and he let him go. He finally found him and he turned him away. 

“Youngjae?” great, he woke Mark up. “Are you OK?” 

“Yea, I’m fine. Just not tired enough to sleep,” he rubbed his face for added effect.

“Come here,” Mark opened his arms for Youngjae to scoot in closer, and he did. Mark’s fingers weaved through Youngjae’s hair, and for a moment he allowed himself to pretend that it was Jaebum’s chest his nose was buried in and he actually dozed off.

**

_Jaebum felt soft touches in his hair. He turned his attention to the hands that were softly carding through his locks and saw his favorite person in the whole world. “Good morning, sunshine,” he gave Youngjae’s cheek a kiss, which made him break out in a fit of loud giggles, which did its job in waking Jaebum up._

_“You have morning breath!” Youngjae scrunched his face and turned away from Jaebum. He attempted to hide underneath the covers but Jaebum flung them off in one quick movement and ghosted his breath all over Youngjae. “YOU’RE SO GROSS,” Youngjae scream-laughed._

_“You love me,” Jaebum whispered to his favorite spots to kiss on Youngjae: his neck, his throat, the dip of his collarbones, and he left the lips for last. “You love me,” he said before he attacked._

_“Yea, I love you,” Jaebum heard Youngjae whisper as soon as the kiss ended. But he pretended like he didn’t hear._

Jaebum sat in his office, wondering how Youngjae got so much better looking when he was already perfect before, but now he’s… _blond_! Strawberry blond, in fact. God damn, Jaebum wanted to touch his hair, it looked so soft, it suited him so much. It made him look softer, and more mature. He felt his throat tighten up, he needed to get this over with. He needed to talk with Youngjae and make him understand. He needed _him_. But Youngjae wasn’t giving into any of Jaebum’s attempts. He’d wait for him by the elevators, by the bathroom, in the cafeteria. He’s started falling behind on his own work by trying to get the other boy’s attention. He’s been trying for a week now and Youngjae always found a way to escape Jaebum.

But he needed to talk with him and make him see that he really had no choice but to do what he did. He spent last night and this morning wondering how to approach Youngjae again. It was obvious that he doesn’t feel the same way about him anymore, and he doesn’t really blame him after what he did with no explanation. But he had to make him understand. It couldn’t be a coincidence that Youngjae is here, so close, _so close_ , he had to make him his again. And he’d do anything to make that happen. He walked away from the best thing he had in his life, and he wasn’t going to make the same mistake. So he walked to Jinyoung’s office, only to see Youngjae typing away on the laptop with great focus.

“Jaebum!” Jinyoung welcomed, and Youngjae’s head and curious eyes peeked from behind the computer screen. “Did you need something?”

“No, I hate the cramped space of the office.” With Jinyoung’s sharp eyes, he caught on to the real reason why Jaebum is here. 

“This office is not that much bigger than yours!” Jinyoung is a teasing little shit.

“Yea, well I just needed the walk.” Jaebum caught Youngjae’s wandering eyes, he would type a few words and raise his eyes to sneak a peek at Jaebum. 

“Come walk some more with me,” Jinyoung left his work unfinished and ushered Jaebum out of the small office. When they were a safe distance away from the office and all prying ears, Jinyoung said “I can’t believe how weak he makes you,” the little shit laughed, he covered his hand over his mouth and laughed that monotone laugh of his. “With the power he has on you, I really can’t believe you didn’t try to rekindle whatever you had going on between you two long ago.”

“I didn’t ask for your opinion!”

“Yea, you did. You literally always did.” Jaebum knew what was coming for him. “Put your jaw back, did you forget when you’d call me at 3AM in high school saying how in love you are with him? Did you forget that one time you called me and you talked about his elbow wrinkle for a whole hour?” Jaebum hung his head low, Jinyoung knew all of his secrets; he knew how one look from Youngjae could turn his world upside down. “Did you forget how you’d always ask _‘Jinyoungie!! What should I do? I like him so much but we agreed on no feelings’_ ,” Jinyoung mocked Jaebum’s adolescent voice. “Do you remember the college nights when you’d be so drunk that you’d come to my dorm and think that I’m Youngjae and make this whole confession about how you were a coward and should’ve confessed way before? ”

Jaebum did remember, but he wasn’t as drunk as Jinyoung always seemed to think he was. He’d been semi aware of what was happening, he just needed an excuse to get Jinyoung to hug him so he could feel some sort of affection and pretend it’s Youngjae. He’d been deprived of any sort of contact except from Jinyoung, he hated the thought of anyone else touching him that wasn’t Youngjae. He’s Youngjae’s only. His fingers running down his arm felt the safest.

But he knows the look Jinyoung gave him that night, and everyday in their college careers. He knows it was, and still is, a look he could never reciprocate. Jinyoung is like a brother to him, and his heart belonged to one person only, even if that person hates him. 

He wanted to tell Jinyoung and confront him so he could move on, because every now and again he would give him the same look as that night, but what could he say when Jinyoung hadn’t given out any sort of ‘real’ signal? He tried to set him up on a few dates with women and men, but Jinyoung would always leave them after a month or two. None of them are ‘interesting’. Whatever that meant.

“Okay! I got your point!”

“So then when are you going to stop playing this game?”

“What game?!”

“This game of _‘oh I’ve hurt him too much. I’m the bad guy’ He hates me?_ When are you going to get off your ass and do something about this?” Jinyoung was almost yelling now. And Jaebum got it, he really did. Jinyoung knows everything about his relationship with Youngjae, it’s like he’s there with them by how much description he gives him. He couldn’t help it, he loved reliving their intense moments. And it’s not like Jaebum shares with anyone else, Jinyoung was like his friend in ways no other person could have been. They connected on a different level than any of his other friends. They found each other at a dance competition, they were the two finalists but Jaebum won at the end. They became friends instantly. Jaebum and Jinyoung were inseparable, Jinyoung lived on the other side of town so he wasn’t around often but they did text a lot! And Jaebum would send him pictures of Youngjae all the time and ask him how cute he is. Jinyoung threatened to block him once because he was getting in trouble at school because his phone would vibrate every few minutes.

“I know,” he sighed.

“No, you really don’t. Look, I don’t know how but nothing makes you this weak like this guy. I’ve seen you stand up to our CEO! And you can’t even tell this guy that you’re sorry?”

“He’s not ‘this guy’!” Jaebum pinched the bridge of his nose, Jinyoung can be a pain in the ass when he’s right. “And I already apologized.”

“Yea? You didn’t say why and you ended up crying!” Jinyoung sighed and went on when Jaebum didn’t reply. “Just do something about it and stop being a dumbass! End it today!” Jinyoung walked away leaving Jaebum feeling like a child being scolded.

Jaebum didn’t understand why Jinyoung was this determined, or why he wanted them to work things out so badly. Jaebum was so sure that Jinyoung had liked him since college. But he was right, he should end it soon. He should get his Jae back, his fingers itched to touch him like they used to. To trace his jaw and feel the dip of his collarbones, he wanted to feel his hair brushing against his cheeks as they kiss. He wanted all of it today. And he’s going to get it!

**

Jaebum walked into Jinyoung’s office for the second time that same day, ignoring the unimpressed look from Jinyoung, Jaebum stood in front of Youngjae’s desk. “Let’s have lunch,” he pressed his lips and waited for Youngjae. 

“Uh,” was all that Youngjae could say. He looked at the work load next to him and then at Jinyoung.

“Go get lunch now, if you don’t go now I can’t promise that either of us will get the chance to eat!” Today’s work load had been too much, and Youngjae wasn’t even done with a third of it. 

He looked at Jaebum and then at the pile of folders next to him. “Okay,” he started to get out of his chair, and Jaebum spun around for Jinyoung. He was still unimpressed, but Jaebum raised his eyebrows at him in amusement. This is going to work! 

They walked next to each other in silence again and just like the other week, Jaebum’s confidence was reducing. There’s something about Youngjae that twists his thoughts and makes him feel as though nothing is good enough, there’s nothing good enough for Youngjae. Because Youngjae deserved the world, the best in everything. And Jaebum felt mediocre whenever he tried justifying telling Youngjae how he really felt, whether it be now or in the past. Jaebum was, still is evidently, a mess. Youngjae deserved someone who has it all figured out, so that he could have a good and easy life with whoever he would spend his life with. 

At that last thought Jaebum felt a heaviness set over his stomach, he wanted to be the one Youngjae spends his life with. But he’s going to confess everything today, and he didn’t know if Youngjae would even want to look at him after everything comes out in the clear.

But damn it he’s going to try!

“Where are we going?” Youngjae asked, a little excitement in his voice. Or maybe that was Jaebum hoping…

_“Bummie! It’s my turn to pick! Don’t be mean,” this was Jaebum’s breaking point and Youngjae knew it. He knew exactly how to work Jaebum, make him say yes to anything he asked for. And if Jaebum was honest with himself, Youngjae could just look at him and he’d let him do whatever he wanted. Well, almost anything. Except for that one thing. Jaebum almost went through with it, but backed out at the last moment. Because he’s Jaebum, and Jaebum doesn’t do that! But he almost did though, all for Youngjae and his persuading eyes and his ‘Hyung, it’ll feel so good. I promise.’ And his soft ‘Bummie, let me be good to you.’”_

_Because Jaebum was Youngjae’s Bummie, and Bummie was weak under the soft brown eyes and the pout that could break hearts._

_“I’m paying so I get to pick!” he was teasing, god he loved teasing Youngjae so much._

_“Well guess what? I have money to pay with this time, so HA!” Youngjae stuck his tongue out at Jaebum. He really did that._

_“You mean the money you won yesterday? The money I lost?” Youngjae rolled his eyes, and Jaebum bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. “My money, my choice,” he ghosted his mouth over Youngjae’s ears. And Youngjae’s blush was a blessing to Jaebum’s eyes, it spread across his round cheeks and tinted the tips of his ears, he started slapping Jaebum’s shoulder. He faked pain and Youngjae only slapped him harder. Their laughter filled the room and for Jaebum, this was all he needed in his life; Youngjae and the sweet sound of his happiness._

“I thought I’d let you pick today.”

“Does that mean I’m paying?” The sting in Jaebum’s heart made him think his heart would really stop beating after seeing Youngjae’s smirk. He hasn’t seen it in so long, it really felt like the whole place got brighter.

“Well, you have a job now don’t you?” He didn’t know if he was pulling off being composed or it was his imagination. Either way he had to keep it up.

“I haven’t worked enough days to get paid yet!” The slap to the shoulder that used to come to easily, attacked him now. The nostalgia was eating Jaebum inside out.

“Okay then, we’ll mix it up. You pick and I’ll pay. You can pay me back next time.” Jaebum will pay. God he’ll pay for anything if it meant Youngjae would smile at him like that until his last breath gives out. 

“Thank you Bumm-” and Youngjae stopped himself before they could go any further. “Hyung,” and there they go again. Jaebum doesn’t want to be hyung when they were alone, only if Youngjae is whispering sweet nothings to him. He doesn’t even want to be Jaebum right now.

He’s Bummie.

Youngjae cleared his throat and they were walking again alongside the river. “I’ve been craving ramen lately,” Youngjae tried, but the atmosphere went back to the awkwardness from earlier in the week.

**

 

They sat in the convenience store eating ramen quietly. Youngjae burning his tongue a few times and drinking his cold drink after. Jaebum just ate in silence, looking at Youngjae every now and then. 

_“Jaebum, eat slower you idiot.” He had ramen water all over the corner of his mouth and Youngjae reached over to wipe it off with his thumb. Which left Jaebum in shock as he eyed Youngjae’s thumb when Youngjae placed his thumb in his mouth. “Staring is rude,” he said as his eyes focused on his own ramen. But he couldn’t help the smirk that creeped on his face anyway._

When they finished their meals, they agreed to walk back to the company. Their hands would bump every now and then, their eyes not quite meeting each other every time. Once Youngjae decided he would lean closer and try to touch Jaebum’s hand, he really wanted to because he missed walking along the street and holding Jaebum’s hands, the hands that felt so sturdy and manly in his, his phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and chuckled to himself. Great timing! He saw that Jaebum saw the phone screen, so he chuckled to himself again. Great! 

“Hey Mark!” he tried to be as cheery as he always is when answering the phone, but it’s hard when he had Jaebum next to him aware of the fact that someone saved as “Markie Pooh” is calling him.

“What, no ‘baby’ today?” He couldn’t tell him that his ex who isn’t really his ex is next to him and he doesn’t want to scare Jaebum off. He also doesn’t want to piss Mark off because he hates Jaebum.

He looked at Jaebum, hands in his pockets and eyeing the ground. “I’m with a co-worker,” it wasn’t a lie. 

“Oh, I’m sorry did I call at a bad time?”

“No, it’s my lunch break. But can I call you later though?”

“Yea, yea just one thing. Have you seen my laptop charger?” he’s always losing things.

“Did you look under our bed?” Youngjae saw Jaebum shoulders tense at the last few words, and for some reason his heart sank. 

“Found it! Thanks baby,” he knows he should say Mark’s pet name, but Jaebum…

“You’re welcome.”

“That’s it?” Usually, Mark would start teasing Youngjae when he knows he’s in public with a group for a project or for a job. And he really wasn’t in the mood for this now.

“Stop. I’ll see you at home.”

“No fun.” And he hung up.

A deep breath later and Jaebum spoke up, “Boyfriend?” 

Youngjae looked at him, Jaebum’s jaw came out to join the conversation. So he let out a nervous “Yea.”

“Is he good to you?” Jaebum was facing forward now, away from Youngjae.

“Yea,” he didn’t want to talk about Mark with Jaebum. He wanted to talk about them and their past and their future.

If there is one.

“How long?” Jaebum didn’t have to say more for Youngjae to know what he meant.

“Six months,” he didn’t know why he felt like he was telling Jaebum he’s done something bad.

Jaebum’s hands balled up in fists in his pockets, and Youngjae wished Mark never called. 

But he stopped walking, and Youngjae stopped to see why. “Do you love him?”

“That’s none of your business,” Youngjae, albeit a bit too quickly, said.

Jaebum just nodded and kept on walking. 

“Are you ever going to talk about last week?” 

“Our lunch break is over,” he threw the strawberry milk bottle he’d been sipping on in the trash can before getting on the elevator to the office. 

Once inside, Youngjae felt a bit bold. He took Jaebum’s hand in his, “Please, _Bummie_ ,” he whispered. He knew this name was one of his weaknesses. 

_“Bummmmmmmmie,” Youngjae whined one day after school. They decided to got to Youngjae’s house, neither of his parents would be home, so they could do whatever they wanted. As soon as Youngjae’s back bag hit the floor, he started calling out for Jaebum._

_“Hm,” he only hummed in his ear as Youngjae straddled him and Jaebum carried him to his room, where he gently placed them both on the bed. Securing his place between Youngjae’s legs, he bent down and kissed his neck, kissing all the places Youngjae loved. All the places Jaebum loved, the mole in the center of his neck, behind his ear, under his jaw, right next to his lips. “What shall we do today?” he nosed in Youngjae’s neck as his hands unbuttoned the uniform._

_“Bummie,” he breathed, his hands grabbing fistfuls of Jaebum’s uniform._

_“I’m yours,” he said against kisses laid on Youngjae’s chest. “Whatever you want, we’ll do it. I’m all yours.”_

“Okay,” Jaebum breathed out. His Adams apple bobbed as he swallowed and Youngjae felt the power he had on Jaebum once again. 

“Okay. After work. We can grab dinner?” This might sound bad for someone who has a boyfriend, but it’s an opportunity and he knows how to butter Jaebum up; food, and the promise of things going back to normal.

“Okay,” Jaebum swallowed hard, once again. Youngjae watched his Adams apple once again, wanting to suck on it and he felt weird. Was that a normal thing to do? Or was it a thing he and Jaebum did when they were teenagers and when they were lost and didn’t know what to do their first time? Whatever the case he really wants to do it just about now! 

In all honesty, Youngjae would love to trap him, wrap Jaebum’s arms around himself, nice and tight. He’d love to have Jaebum have his eyes pour into his with that smirk he used to direct his way. He’d love to have Jaebum straddle him, bring him closer by a hand digging into his hipbones. He’d love to feel those soft and perfect lips on his once again. 

“Staring is rude,” Jaebum said and Youngjae moved a few steps further until Jaebum grabbed him by his jacket. “Don’t,” and a smirking Youngjae moved a few steps closer. 

The elevator signaled for their floor, and they took a few steps away from each other. Looking professional. Not like love struck teenagers. Professional adults. 

“I’ll see you after work!” Youngjae cheered, leaving behind a smiley Jaebum. 

Youngjae hid in a vacant office and took deep breaths like Jaebum had taught him so many times before when his heart threatened to collapse on itself. He knew Jaebum is getting his hopes up that they were going to be like old times again because Youngjae is going easy, the anger from last week not coming out. Even though Youngjae knew what he’s doing, had it all planned out, he couldn’t help the familiar bubbly and nervous feeling he gets around the older boy. 

But, he really couldn’t help the smile that spread on his face when he remembered the elevator ride. When Jaebum held on to his jacket to keep him from moving away, he couldn’t help his smile then either. He really couldn’t stop smiling when he remembered the entire hour that had passed. And that brought on a whole bunch of other memories. All the times Jaebum would tease him only to kiss him in the end, his hands softly roaming up his sides, through his hair, pinning his arms above his head and sucking on his favorite parts of his throat until he was sure they would bruise. 

The way Jaebum would trace his bottom lip with his thumb and lick it afterwards, set his insides on fire. The way he would call out for him “ _baby_ ,” in a husky voice only for Youngjae to hear. He missed those times. Yea, he really wouldn’t mind having Jaebum in this room right now. He laughed as he remembered the good times, the times where he was really happy.

When he thought his nerves were better, he started to move out of the room when he was met face to face with none other than Jaebum. He yelped and Jaebum chuckled. “What’s got you so happy?” 

Oh if he only knew. 

Youngjae shook his head, feeling too happy to stop smiling and he walked past Jaebum to the office to finish his work. 

He walked in and saw Jinyoung in the same position he left him in, huddled over the laptop like it was going to run away. When he looked up and saw Youngjae smiling, his eyebrow rose. “You’re in a good mood!” 

“I am!” he sat behind his desk and resumed whatever report he was working on before he left. 

“Does it have to do with Jaebum?” Jinyoung looked like he was about to be let in on the hottest gossip in the whole company. 

“That’s private.”

“I’m your boss!” 

“Technically JYP is my boss,” Youngjae smirked. He knew he was being a little shit, but he was too giddy to care.

Jinyoung let out a tsk and sat back. Youngjae saw him take his phone out and type something. And when he picked it back up he saw Jinyoung’s eyes fly wide open. He wondered what could so be shocking.

**

In his office, Jaebum was bouncing off the walls. He couldn’t believe the day he’s had and it’s not even over yet! It’s been four years since he’s seen a bright and bubbly Youngjae, and the universe just graced him with exactly that not even five minutes ago! And he wants to have dinner with him, they just had lunch but he also wants to have dinner! 

_His Jae!_ He’s going to get his Jae back!

His Jae is going to want answers. Answers that he might not like…

His phone dinged and he saw that it was a text from Jinyoung.  


**Youngjae came back VERY happy.** –JY

 **Is everything resolved?** –JY

 **Not yet, we’re having dinner to clear things up tonight!** –JB

 **What did you do at lunch then??** –JY

 **Did you know he has a boyfriend?!** –JB

 **???** –JY

 **Exactly** –JB

 **But I’m still going for it. That guy isn’t right for him** –JB

 **But of course YOU are?** –JY

 **Obviously** –JB

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> constructive criticism is always welcome!  
> find me @ 2jaekisses on tumblr if u want :)


	3. 3

Around five o’clock Jaebum walked to Jinyoung and Youngjae’s office and looked through the glass windows. They seemed tired, like they just did the work of the whole company, so Jaebum felt guilty when he opened the door and they jolted up.

But the guilt subsided when he saw Youngjae’s face soften as he looked at him. “Ready?” 

“Someone is eager,” it wasn’t loud enough for Youngjae to hear, but Jaebum heard Jinyoung mutter to himself. 

“Yeah, I’ll just finish up this report and I think I’ll be good for today.” Jaebum nodded and headed over to Jinyoung, who took him to the corner of the office to talk without being heard by Youngjae.

“How do you feel?” Jinyoung asked, with a comforting hand on Jaebum’s back. 

“Good, I think I can tell him everything tonight.” 

“Don’t bother coming to work tomorrow if you don’t do this!” 

“You’re actually scary when you make threats. Why didn’t you go through with acting school again?” 

Jinyoung pinched Jaebum’s sensitive spots and he jumped, Jinyoung hated being reminded of acting school and what could have been.

“Should I leave the room so you guys can get more comfortable?” they turned to see Youngjae smirking. They didn’t laugh, it wasn’t the first time someone teased them about how close they can get.

“All done?” Jaebum asked as he stepped away from Jinyoung and found himself moving towards Youngjae.

“Yeah,” Youngjae picked up his jacket and Jaebum’s eyes followed his every movement as he wore that damn thing. The way his shirt tightened over his chest as he stretched to get his arms in made Jaebum’s mouth dry up. He’s so grown up now, so grown and he looked amazing. God damn, he looked incredible.

_“Have you been working out?” Jaebum asked as his hands roamed all over Youngjae’s chest. He felt the hardness underneath his fingers and he didn’t know why they felt different. Youngjae and him do this on a weekly basis, he sees every part of Youngjae’s body every time, he touches him every time. Why does it feel like he hadn’t touched him in months?_

_“No,” he placed a kiss on Jaebum’s lips, it was soft and slow and it felt like they had all the time in the world. “You just miss me too much!” He laughed as he nosed Jaebum’s neck. He’s in control._

_Youngjae is in control right now, Jaebum is putty between his fingers and Jaebum didn’t mind one bit! But then again, when was Jaebum never not putty between Youngjae’s fingers?!_

_“I do miss you! Lots, and lots and lots!” he let himself be kissed, let Youngjae take his time doing whatever he wanted. It’s okay. Today Youngjae will do everything he wants. “But it’s your day, I’m all yours!”_

_“Let’s be real Bummie,” he hovered over Jaebum’s body, knees on either side of Jaebum. “When were you ever not mine?” He was teasing, of course he was! Jaebum never thought Youngjae would ever like him as much as he liked, no, as much as he loved Youngjae. But it was nice to pretend. It was nice to let himself get carried away, and let these words mean as much as he wanted them to. It’s not like Youngjae can read his mind._

_“I’m yours,” he breathed, it was hard to make any words come out while Youngjae’s mouth is skillfully kissing anything it can on Jaebum, while his hands were playing a game of their own. “A-always…yours.”_

Somewhere in the back of his mind he thought he heard a small chuckle, his eyes focused again and he saw it wasn’t Youngjae. So it must be…

“You’re pathetic,” Jinyoung mouthed at Jaebum. 

**

“Ready, Bummie!” In a matter of seconds, both Jinyoung and Jaebum looked at Youngjae like he just grew 3 heads. He didn’t realize what slipped out of his mouth at first, he didn’t know how it felt so natural to blurt it out. Jaebum’s mouth hung open, “Sorry.” 

Jaebum cleared his mouth, “Let’s go.” So they walked to the elevator where, yet again, they were alone. Jaebum was being weird, Youngjae knows how Jaebum is and this is not it. It could be that he’s nervous about how to say what they were going to talk about, but he shifted his weight from one leg to the others, he fiddled with his jacket, he played with one of the rings he has on his finger. His finger…

_“That doesn’t look very good,” Youngjae walked into Jaebum’s house to find him in the kitchen icing a cake._

_“Don’t judge a book by its cover.” He didn’t even look at Youngjae, which pissed him off. Was cake more important than him? Tsk. “Come taste this for me.” When Jaebum finally looked at Youngjae, he had a flour streak on his cheek and flour all over his apron. And a path of flower on the floor which looked like it was lazily wiped._

_“Why should I? It looks like a white blob!” He stood against the counter and perked his lips, waiting for Jaebum to come up with something to say._

_“Don’t be mean,” his voice was quiet, and Youngjae thought he might’ve actually hurt his feelings, which made Youngjae feel like the biggest asshole. So he cut himself a piece and tasted the red cake. Jaebum looked at him with hopeful eyes, it was so endearing. “so?”_

_“It’s actually good! I’m surprised,” he finished the last piece of the small cut._

_“Is it too dry? Too stale?”_

_“No, it’s just like how your mom makes it. Pretty perfect actually!” Mrs.Im’s red velvet cake was one of a kind, and Jaebum just made an exact replica! That’s pretty impressive! “Although, the decorating could use an improvement. It’s like a 3 on a 10 point scale.”_

_“I’ll show you a 3 you little shit,” Youngjae didn’t see the finger covered in icing coming for his face. He screamed and got trapped against the counter with Jaebum covering his face with icing._

_“Very mature,” Youngjae rolled his eyes. When he sneaked his own hand filled with icing and attacked Jaebum’s cheek. But Jaebum didn’t move away from him, he was hoping he’d back away a little so he could have more room to attack him again, but no. Jaebum stood still. A few seconds have passed where they didn’t say anything, they were intensely staring at each other, and Youngjae didn’t know if another attack was coming or if Jaebum was going to start kissing him._

_Neither happened. Jaebum moved his finger and swiped it across his cheek, he pointed it in front of Youngjae’s mouth, and Youngjae opened up, tasting Jaebum as he got a predatory look in his eyes. “Come on,” he took Youngjae by the hand and they almost ran to Jaebum’s room._

Those were good times. He doesn’t remember the last time he messed with the food while Mark was cooking. Maybe when they first started dating…

“Where should we go eat?” Jaebum asked.

“Wherever you want,” there are so many things that they did that were fun. Youngjae wishes he could do some of them with Mark, and honestly? It’s his fault, he doesn’t really initiate things, Mark does most of the work. Unless Youngjae gets reminded of his time with Jaebum, and it turns him on and he needs a release. What he’s doing is probably not fair to Mark, but he doesn’t want to be alone. He might do something bad.

“I was thinking, its only five and we ate lunch like four hours ago. Why don’t we just get some dessert or something?”

“Yea okay,” he really didn’t care what they ate as long as he’s with Jaebum. 

Wait. No. 

As long as they talk. Yea. There. 

“I know a café that has the best cakes, but it’s a bit far.” 

“How far?”

“Like an hour…?” 

“That’s fine.” In the car with Jaebum for an hour, he could hardly handle a few seconds elevator ride! But he really wanted them to have this talk, so he’ll endure.

Youngjae felt like there was a new pathway for air to go through his lungs when he saw Jaebum’s face light up. “My car is in the garage,” so they walked to get his car. This will be fine. If he can make it through ten minutes, he can make it though the following ten. Basically six ten minutes. He can do that. 

Easy enough. 

They got in Jaebum’s car, and Youngjae felt himself tense up when Jaebum got in and closed the door. 

“Are you okay?” he turned to him. And when Youngjae locked eyes with Jaebum, everything else disappeared and it was just Jaebum. It was only Bummie. Bummie and his warm eyes.

Bummie and his inviting smile. 

“Put your seatbelt on.”

 _“Are you sure about this?” Youngjae asked, he has his seatbelt on for safety. Though he didn’t know why, he’s going to take it off in a bit anyway._

_“If you have your seatbelt on you won’t reach here,” Jaebum was calm and Youngjae wanted to slap him. How could he be calm in a situation like this? Sure, they were out in the middle of nowhere where technically if Jaebum swerved they would still be fine, but Youngjae was still scared of crashing. “Hey,” he reached over to Youngjae and his soft voice played through his ears. “I won’t let anything happen to you, you know that right?” Youngjae nodded and Jaebum squeezed his hand. “Let’s go then,” he put the car in drive and started driving slowly._

_“Wait, don’t you need to be in the mood or something?”_

_“Give me like a few seconds,” Youngjae rolled his eyes. Jaebum can’t get hard in seco-_

_Well, fuck. He can! He looked at Jaebum’s shorts and the tent growing in them and his mouth watered. ___

____

____

_“Ready, baby?” Youngjae pushed his hair back and dove in._

They’ve been driving for about 10 minutes in silence, so Youngjae turned to the radio, switching channels every now and then. 

“The aux cord is in the glove compartment,” Youngjae opened it and saw the cord, so he opened up iTunes and they drove for five more minutes before Jaebum spoke again. “Do you mind if we make a quick stop at my place? It’ll take like ten minuets max.”

Of course he minded! Going to Jaebum’s place, where he’ll see how Jaebum is living, what he surrounds himself by, _Jaebum’s place_. They’ll be alone… where there’s a bed…

He shook his head and shut his eyes to get the thought out. He’s here for one mission. Only one.

“It’s fine,” his mouth betrayed him. 

“Great! It’s a few minutes away from here actually.” So they sat together, the sound of Youngjae’s thoughts drowning out the music that filled the car. He thought of all the things that he wanted to do when they got to Jaebum’s place, all the things he’d been dreaming of doing to Jaebum for so long. 

He wasn’t sure if he could keep himself from not kissing him. He was fine when Jaebum asked if they could go eat together, the would be in public and there would be people around. And although Youngjae was angry at him, he still loved him. He can do this, can keep his hands to himself when it was a public place, but he didn’t know if he could when they would be alone. He missed him too much, he wants to see him laugh, wants to kiss him and run his finger against his lips, he wants to feel him against himself, he wants to brush his hair and feel his soft hair against his fingers. 

He wants to do so much, make up for all the years that went by. But in an instant, he felt bad for even thinking those thoughts when he already had someone in his life. He felt bad that he was having these thoughts when he has Mark by his side. Mark who didn’t deserve a cheating boyfriend. Mark who didn’t deserve someone like Youngjae who will use him as a fill-in for Jaebum. Youngjae felt like an asshole.

“Do you want to come up?” Jaebum’s voice brought him back from his thoughts and wishes. He saw that they were parked in front of an apartment complex in a nice neighborhood. 

“Uh, yea, I guess,” they got out of the car and headed to the apartment. Jaebum punched in a code to unlock the door and Youngjae waited behind him, admiring the back of his head and his soft hair, and his shoulders. _Damn_ he missed them, they’re so wide…

Again, they got into an elevator, but it was a short ride. He followed Jaebum to a door and waited for him to unlock it, he fumbled with the keys and Youngjae couldn’t help the thinking that it was cute. He let himself, even for a few seconds, think that Jaebum might be nervous to have him in his home.

He walked in to a place naturally lit by a big window, it was modest and warm and modern. One side of the living room was all bricks, he had black couches with a familiar red throw blanket on one of them. 

_He snuggled up closer to Jaebum and hugged the red blanket around himself, Jaebum looking at him and giving him a lazy smile. They were currently sitting on Jaebum’s couch, watching a movie. Or, technically, Jaebum was watching and Youngjae was trying to act cute to get Jaebum’s attention. He was horny and with the only light coming from the TV, Jaebum looked amazing. He wanted to kiss his face and kiss his hair. He looked so good. So Youngjae took a chance and went for that kiss. Jaebum put an arm around Youngjae and pulled him closer. He put a finger under Youngjae’s chin and raised it up a little and gave him a small chaste kiss._

_It was pure and soft, but it satisfied Youngjae. He laid his head on Jaebum’s chest and continued to watch the movie. But that didn’t mean his fingers were obedient, they traced Jaebum’s tummy, feeling the hard muscle. Youngjae raised himself a little and gave Jaebum a kiss on the cheek, his horny self will have to wait for the movie to finish._

Youngjae sat down and watched Jaebum look for something. “What did you come here for?”

“Nora,” he said as he continued to look between small places. Youngjae remembered Nora, Jaebum’s cat. Jaebum’s small cat that Youngjae is allergic to, to be exact. They heard soft patting on the floor and they turned to see the small cat. She circled around Jaebum’s feet but walked towards Youngjae when she noticed him, she nosed his legs and settled at his feet and started purring softly. Youngjae brought her up to his lap and she continued to purr as she curled up on herself. He looked at Jaebum and saw him smiling softly at Nora in his lap. 

“She remembers me,” he was a little surprised, he really hasn’t spent more than ten minutes at a time with Nora because of his allergies. Yet the small cat still remembers him, and likes him too apparently. 

“She doesn’t forget the people she likes,” Jaebum started walking towards him, eyes fixed on Youngjae, and when he bent down Youngjae’s mouth dried up. He was so close that his hair almost brushed Youngjae’s forehead. It would be so, so easy to just lean forward and feel his lips… But he picked up Nora, “Come on, baby girl.” Before he walked away, he turned to Youngjae, “I’m just going to give her her ear drops and we can go.” Youngjae nodded. “Don’t hiss at me, baby girl. I can’t leave you there you might make daddy sick.” When Jaebum was out of sight, Youngjae couldn’t help getting up and kicking the air. Jaebum just referred to him as _daddy_! What kind of fucked up universe is he living in where Jaebum _willingly_ calls him _daddy_? Because he’d like to live in it very much! He wouldn’t call him that five years ago even when Youngjae bribed him with endless blowjobs whenever and wherever he wanted!

He took deep breaths and went to the kitchen to get himself some water. This whole day has been too much for him. Where was the Youngjae that swore he’d kick Jaebum’s ass if he ever ran into him? Where is the Youngjae that wouldn’t stop asking question even when Jaebum almost cried in front of him? How did he transform into this horny and soft guy in one night? How did he go back to thinking Jaebum’s shoulders looked good enough for a ride on them? He needs an aspirin… 

He heard a “ding” and he looked around, an iPad caught his eye on the kitchen table. He moved closer to see. And he really wished that he didn’t; he saw the wallpaper and his heart almost twisted in his throat. It was a picture of him and Jaebum kissing and hugging from when they were younger. Anyone who saw it would think that they were a couple and totally in love. Youngjae looked at the picture and remembered when they took it, he remembered like it took place a few seconds ago.

_“Come on, one more.” Jaebum’s eyes pleaded, and Youngjae was a fool in love. So he sat back on Jaebum’s bed and looked into the camera. “Smile,” Youngjae tried but his cheeks hurt from all the smiling and laughing for the pictures they took before, none of them were good enough for Jaebum. So he thought he’d put an end to this, he pulled Jaebum close and wrapped his arms around his neck. He connected their lips and the smile that crept up on his face was involuntary. Jaebum almost forgot to take a picture until Youngjae guided his hand and they snapped the picture together._

_“Happy?”_

_“Very,” he wasn’t referring to the picture. He put the phone down and attacked Youngjae with kisses, making the younger boy yelp out in giggles which only made Jaebum tickle him next. He felt the air in his lungs give out from laughing too hard and he rolled off the bed, his head hit the floor with a ‘thump’ but he kept on laughing._

_“I’m sorry,” Jaebum said between laughs._

_“You don’t sound sorry,” he got up and stood in front of Jaebum._

_“What if I’m not, then?” That little shit got something dirty going on in his mind, Youngjae knew as soon as Jaebum’s eyes darted to Youngjae’s lips._

_“That’d wouldn’t be too nice.” He brought him up by his hoodie to his level, dangerously close to his lips, making him kneel on the bed. “Y’know what happens to mean boys?” Jaebum shook his head, eyes totally focused on Youngjae. “They get punished,” Jaebum swallowed._

It clicked. At that moment it all clicked for Youngjae. Everything. 

When he heard Jaebum’s foot steps coming closer to the kitchen, he put the tablet back. “Alright, we can go now.”

“Wait,” Youngjae has been feeling way too brave the whole day, what’s one more thing? “I don’t want to go.” 

“Oh, do you want to go somewhere else?” he picked up his phone, “I can google something else.” 

“No,” Youngjae felt his hands and his feet shaking. Can he really do this?

“No?” 

“I want to stay here,” it was soft and low and he didn’t know if Jaebum heard him.

“…O..kay.” Jaebum didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know where to go or what to do with himself. He couldn’t really look at Youngjae in the eyes. “I have cake! Red velvet, your favorite.” He moved to the cabinets and started to pull out two plates and forks. 

“With bad decorations?” 

“I’ve gotten better,” he pulled a small platter out and he was right. It looked like it came from a five star bakery. 

But Youngjae is a little shit, and he, and Jaebum most likely, really needed the laugh so he could relax. “I give it a three,” and Jaebum turned to look at him with his mouth wide open, he chuckled. It wasn’t a full laugh, but it was something.

“Listen,” he moved towards Jaebum. he didn’t plan on getting this close but his brain isn’t really thinking right now. He took the knife from him and guided him away from the kitchen. “We have to talk about everything.”

Jaebum swallowed and Youngjae really couldn’t handle anymore of that.

“I want you to tell me everything, why you were gone for so long and you didn’t reach out to me and everything. I still want that. But being around you is just a little too much, I can’t even do my work properly, I’ve been recalling all these memories and it’s making me want things. Things that we haven’t’ shared for years, things I haven’t had for years.” He paced back and forth because he couldn’t take all this, he had too many things to say and he felt like he was going to explode. “Having you back is making me feel things that I shouldn’t because I feel like I’m cheating on Mark and he doesn’t deserve it. Yet I still daydream about the times we used to sneak out together at night and go to the ocean and you’d carry me on your back, which by the way has gotten even broader and more distracting! I keep thinking about how nice it would be if you would just hug me like you used to, and kiss me and I want to run my fingers through your hair. I want you to call me baby again. And your tablet?” Jaebum’s eyes widened even more. “Yea, that, I saw the wallpaper and you know what? I want you to kiss me like that right now! And don’t kiss me like we’re friends because I know you don’t want that, and I don’t want it either. Kiss me like you love me because I know you do. Kiss me _right now_ , Goddammit!!” 

Jaebum stood in front of him, so close he could feel his breathing. 

“Now!” that shook Jaebum out of the shock he was in, and he moved closer, carefully. 

Youngjae was vibrating, he was too high on the bravery. Jaebum moved his hands slowly up to Youngjae’s waist, like he was going to tell him to stop. He shivered under Jaebum’s fingers as they slowly traveled up and to Youngjae’s back. His lips were mere inches away from Youngjae when he whispered, “I love you,” against Youngjae’s lips before connecting. 

Youngjae felt like grew a third lung when he felt the air moving smoother through him. He grabbed fistfuls of Jaebum’s shirt and pulled closer and closer and closer. He pulled and pulled until he had no more energy and his lips were tingling. 

“You really missed me that much, huh?!” Youngjae didn’t know what he meant, of course he missed him he just ranted about that! But then his brain started working again and he realized Jaebum was cracking a joke. So he slapped his shoulder. Jaebum laughed but grabbed Youngjae again and kissed him, “I love you,” it was short and sweet. “I love you,” he said again and kissed Youngjae yet again. “I love you,” he kept saying before each kiss and Youngjae couldn’t help but smile.

Jaebum pulled them both down to the couch with Jaebum practically in Youngjae’s lap. Jaebum was in the middle of unbuttoning Youngjae’s shirt while also kissing him when Youngjae started getting flashes of Mark. 

“Stop,” he let out a deep breath. He didn’t want to end this, but he couldn’t do it to Mark. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t do this,” he lightly pushed Jaebum off of his lap and started to get up.

“Wait,” Jaebum held him back. “Wait, Jae please don’t leave,” when did he ever deny Jaebum’s pleading eyes anything? But he had to, Mark was too good to be cheated on.

“I’m not, we just can’t do this,” he pointed at the couch where they were both sitting a minute ago, “ _right now._ ”

“Why not?” 

“Because of Mark. I’m not going to cheat on him!” 

“Well, just call him and break up with him!” he held Youngjae’s phone out. 

“Would you want someone to break up with you over the phone? He doesn’t deserve that, he’s too good to me and I can’t do that to him.” Jaebum didn’t say anything. “Besides, as much as I love doing _that_ , you promised you would tell me everything today.” 

“Right,” Jaebum took a deep breath. “Okay, yea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this chapter! ♥︎  
> you can find me on tumblr 2jaekisses


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confessions!! :(

They sat back down on the couch they were making out on a minute ago.

“You know when my dad passed away?” Youngjae nodded. “Mom couldn’t work so I had to,” Youngjae remembered Jaebum telling him he got a job at his dad’s company. “So I got that job working for your dad, and it was great! The first few months were good, then things started to get bad. I saved up something small, but I was the only one working and I had to help out. Even with what dad left us we were still struggling. Hell, we always were but then it got really bad.” 

“I went to your dad for help, I thought maybe I could ask him to raise my rate, since him and dad were friends. And he did, he also offered to help out with college the following year and I gladly accepted! I thought all my problems would go away! And they did, for a while.” Jaebum took a few deep breaths before he went on, he squeezed Youngjae’s hands and brought them to his lips. “Just before my third year of college, you graduated high school and that’s when I had to leave.” Jaebum looked at Youngjae, like he was apologizing once again. “I was threatened and I couldn’t stand up to the threat. I hadn’t saved up enough money to say no, I couldn’t do that to my mom.”

“Who threatened you?” Youngjae brushed Jaebum’s hair and he kissed the tip of his ear.

“It doesn’t matter, but they threatened to take our house. My mom would’ve had no where else to go, Jae. All my savings went to our bills. And even with the raise I sill wasn’t making enough, not without a degree. So I had to wait until I graduated so I could get out of this mess. I had to leave.” 

“Why were you threatened?” He had a feeling he knew who the person that did this was.

“Because we were seen together.” And now he’s sure. “He didn’t want me corrupting you any more. He thought you needed me to get through school, that you relied on me too much. So he waited until you graduated. If it weren’t for you,” his voice broke and Youngjae knew he was crying. “He wouldn’t have thought about me and mom even for a second.” 

He brought Jaebum closer to him and let him cry into his shirt. 

“I never wanted to leave you,” he grabbed Youngjae’s shirt and cried some more. “I loved you. I’ve loved you since the 8th grade! I didn’t want to be away from you. Do you know how much it hurt to wait for you to graduate so I could tell you how I felt? Everyday that I wasn’t with you at school I’d be thinking of you and of how many kids are hitting on you.” Youngjae could feel his cheeks getting warm, and Jaebum came up and his thumb brushed his blushing cheeks. “I wish I was there to see them make you blush like this, and then I’d come in and I could say that you’re mine!’” he almost choked on his tears. 

“Why didn’t you find me when I started college? He wouldn’t have known then!” 

“I tried and he stopped me! He told me he’d be watching me, and the day after that I kept seeing someone following me. There was so much I wanted to do with you when you finally got to college, but unfortunately we couldn’t.” 

“Because of my dickhead of a father!” Jaebum’s hands played with the hem of Youngjae’s shirt. “Did you know that he kicked me out my second year of college?” Jaebum sat up and gave Youngjae a confused look. “Yea, I told him about me and you know how he hates people like us.” Jaebum nodded in agreement while he took the younger boy in his arms and petted his hair.

“I’m sorry, Jae.”

“It’s okay, it taught me to live on my own. I got a job and started living with a few friends,” he rubbed his tired eyes and took a deep breath. “Plus, my mom sent me something every few weeks…” Jaebum chuckled and Youngjae laughed. 

They must’ve stayed like this, with Jaebum practically in Youngjae’s lap, for about ten minutes. Until Jaebum kissed Youngjae’s cheek. “I’m really happy that you’re here,” and he gave him that famous Im Jaebum smile. The smile that made girls’ hearts melt. The smile that made the girls in high school hate Youngjae because Jaebum never directed that same smile to anyone else except Youngjae.

“I’m really, really happy that I’m here,” he kissed Jaebum’s forehead and wrapped his arms around him, he kissed Jaebum’s hair and made his way down his cheeks, to his jaw, to his neck, to his colla-

“Hey!” he brought up Youngjae’s face to level his. “What happened to not cheating on Mark?” 

“Who’s that?” 

“Fuck, Youngjae. Come on,” he laughed and got up. He held out his hand for Youngjae to take. “I’ll take you home.”

**

In the car, Youngjae couldn’t keep his staring under control. He looked ready to eat Jaebum up with his eyes. And Jaebum was fine with it, every time he looked to his side, he’d see Youngjae looking at him and Youngjae would smile that perfect smile of his. It really made Jaebum’s stomach do flips. 

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer!” Jaebum was just teasing, but Youngjae actually got his phone out and took a picture of Jaebum. He shook his head at how adorable Youngjae still is. God he missed this. He missed how easy this is, between him and his Jae.

 

There was heavy traffic on the way to Youngjae’s place, so when Jaebum came to a complete stop in traffic he turned to Youngjae, “What are you going to tell Mark?” 

Youngjae released a deep breath and sat back in his seat. “I don’t know, the truth.”

“Will you be okay?” Jaebum asked. 

“Yea, Mark won’t hurt me.” Youngjae took Jaebum’s free hand in his and traced his palm. “He’s not a bad guy.” 

“I know. You’re with him. That’s a sign that he’s good.”

“Why do you always think I’m this pure guy?” 

_“Come on, it’ll be fun. Trust me.” They stood in Jaebum’s room, Youngjae being way too close to Jaebum right now. He normally wouldn’t mind Youngjae this close, but he was trying to convince him of trying something new, and usually he would be open to anything Youngjae suggested, he gives in way too easily if Youngjae would so much as say “please” followed by “Beommie”. But right now Youngjae was asking for too much, and Jaebum didn’t want to look in his eyes, or any part of him, so he had his back turned to him. If he looked his way, he was sure he’d give in. He can’t resist Youngjae’s sweet honey eyes._

_Youngjae’s hands lowered to Jaebum’s hips and he swayed them along with his own hips, his fingers feeling hot on Jaebum’s hips even over the jeans. He shut his eyes, knowing fully well that it doesn’t work, but he tried to shut Youngjae’s voice out._

_“Bummie, I’ll make it good for you,” and now he started whispering in Jaebum’s ears, kissing the ear lobes every now and then. “You know how you do it to me, it feels so good. I just want you to experience that feeling too. Is that so wrong?” Fucking Youngjae, he whimpered._

_Jaebum bit the inside of his cheek._

_“Okay, fine.” Youngjae let go of Jaebum with an irritated huff, and Jaebum thanked the higher powers that Youngjae gave up. Because he’ll be damned if he lets his dignity fly out the door for those honey eyes. “I’ll just go to Jackson,” Jaebum’s ears perked up. “Y’know he’s been trying to get with me for months, but I bet he’ll let me do that to him instead.”_

_Like lightening, Jaebum spun around before Youngjae even had the chance to take two steps away from Jaebum. He grasped Youngjae’s wrist “What the fuck?” His head felt hot, and heavy, and his body vibrated for him to kick something._

_“Oh that got your attention?” he smirked. Fucking Youngjae!_

_“Don’t you ever say that again,” he needed air, it was way too hot in the room._

_“Why? We’re just messing around anyway. And let go you’re hurting me,” like it was fire, Jaebum let go of his wrist and took a few steps back. He was right, Youngjae isn’t his. He doesn’t have any right to be this possessive over him. “I should go.”_

“Pure?” he mocked. “Not with the stuff you wanted me to do to you.” That got Youngjae to chuckle. “Or the stuff you wanted to do to me!” And now he was fully laughing, and it was music to Jaebum’s ears. He almost stopped the car on the shoulder of the highway so he could listen to Youngjae’s laugh properly. It has been years since he got to feel this happy simply because of a _laugh_ , or because of anything really. It was everything he remembered; loud, happy and so _full of life_. 

“Hey!” he tried to gather oxygen to speak. “You agreed to most of those things!” 

They spent the ride to Youngjae’s place reminiscing on old memories and time flew by. They sat in front of Youngjae’s apartment building with Jaebum wishing Youngjae would tell him he doesn’t want to go in, that he wants to stay with him. He’d drive them home and love him like he wants to, like he knows he could. Better than old times. 

“I guess I should… uh go…” there it was! Hesitation! Oh if only he would verbally say it instead of hinting to it. 

He began to take his seat belt off when Jaebum handed him his phone, “Put your number in.” Youngjae nodded and Jaebum called the number as soon as Youngjae handed the phone back. He noticed that Youngjae named his contact as “Baby Sunshine” with an emoji with heart eyes, a kissy face emoji, an arrow through the heart emoji. He snorted, there’s his Jae. 

When Youngjae finished saving Jaebum’s contact information, he showed it to Jaebum. He saved him under “Bum Bum” with two kissy emojis, and Jaebum laughed, he missed having this comfortable laugh.

“If you need anything,” he placed his hand under Youngjae’s jaw and gently turned his face towards him. “Anything at all, call me. I’ll come to you even if it’s four in the morning!” he nodded as a seal to the promise, and Youngjae nodded along with him. “I won’t ever leave you again.” That got Youngjae to smile, and Jaebum felt proud, like he always did when Youngjae sent a smile his way. 

“Okay,” Youngjae let out a deep breath and rubbed his now sweaty palms on his pants.

“Ready?” Jaebum asked.

“As I’ll ever be,” they nodded at each other and Youngjae got out of the passenger side. Jaebum watched him as he took nervous slow steps towards his apartment. He looked back at Jaebum before opening the building door and waved a small wave. 

Jaebum’s heart ached, this has been a rollercoaster of a day. Should Youngjae be going to break up with his boyfriend alone? Who even knows if said boyfriend won’t have a fit after he gets the news and things get bad? 

But Youngjae can handle himself, Jaebum might think he’s a soft muffin but when it comes down to it Youngjae is tough. So he decided to wait, if he doesn’t call him in an hour, he’s going to go back home.

He waited for about thirty minutes before he began dozing off. When he looked at the clock it read nine PM. He dropped Youngjae off an hour ago, if he needed his help he would’ve called him by now. So he turned the ignition on and prepared to go home. He hoped that Youngjae was doing okay, but a part of him was hoping that he’d call him and tell him that he wants him to come and get him and he’d tell him that he never left in the first place. 

But this is real life and Youngjae isn’t going to call. 

But someone else did call. “Jinyoungie!” he connected his phone to the aux cord and drove home.

“ _Jinyoungie_? You sound happy!” 

“And you sound tired,” Jaebum felt bad since he left Jinyoung in the office without his intern. He must’ve stayed behind to finish up whatever they were working on. 

“Don’t worry about that. Tell me, did you get things straightened out?” His voice picked up at the question. He was thankful to have Jinyoung by his side, he was supportive and caring. He always asked about how Jaebum is doing, always asked if he needed anything. He tried to get Jaebum to date, to let him have someone fill the void that Youngjae left behind, even though he never asked Jaebum out himself he tried to get him to move on.

“Yes!” Jinyoung let out a series of excited noises and Jaebum couldn’t contain the laugh that piled up in him. He laughed and laughed and he was _happy_. Finally. 

“Tell me everything!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really not good at writing confrontations, but i tried! it was only fluff how did it end up like this? it was only fluff


	5. 5

Youngjae put his keys in the door lock and took a deep breath before opening the door. He’s never broken up with anyone before, no one has broken up with him before. He’s never even been in a relationship after Jaebum and before Mark. People come and go and it never lasts long enough for either him or whoever he’s with to care if they call or don’t after a night together. He doesn’t know how to do this. 

He doesn’t want to come on too strong and hurt Mark’s feelings. Because in all honesty, Mark is amazing, he treats him right and cares about him. Always asks whether he’s doing okay, if he’s hungry, if he wants to go out. He really deserves someone that cares about him the same way. And Youngjae tried, _God_ , he tried so hard. But no one can ever replace what’s already stamped on his heart. 

“You’re home!” Coco ran up to him as he stepped his foot inside the apartment. He picked her up and went to sit next to Mark. Mark’s arm wrapped around him and he pulled Youngjae in for a kiss, but Youngjae didn’t kiss back. “What’s wrong?” 

Can he do it? Can he really hurt those sweet eyes? He can’t even look at them for more than a second after he just denied him the kiss. “I’m just tired,” he sighed and gave Coco to Mark. He got up and headed for their room to change, and to breathe because he felt like his lungs were closing up.

Should he call Jaebum? No, he’s probably home already and he doesn’t want to ruin his good mood. 

“Youngjae?” Mark peeked from the door. He gave a quick hum in response as he changed into sweats. “Are you OK?” 

“Yea, it was a long day.” That was not a lie.

“I’m sorry,” he walked closer to Youngjae, and Youngjae froze in place. Why is he being so touchy tonight? He moved a bit quickly towards the closet, anywhere else to be honest, and fiddled with his t-shirts and took his time deciding which to wear. “Are you hungry?”

“I’m okay, thanks.” If he could slap himself right now, he would. This must be awkward if he were to look at them from another point of view. Why is he being such a dick? Why can’t he look Mark in the eye and just tell him! 

“I taught Coco a new trick!” he took a seat on their bed and waited for Youngjae to turn to him, get excited with him about their dog like he always does. 

“Really?” but he never did. He kept pretending to look through the closet.

“Wanna see?” Mark called for Coco and she came running excited to be held by her dad. “Coco show daddy how you wink,” he placed her on the bed and laid in front of her, “Youngjae, come look. She’ll wink when I wink,” and Youngjae gave up and went to see. And she winked, and it was adorable and on any other day he’d laugh obnoxiously loud and and give her lots of kisses, but all he could do tonight was a small chuckle. “Okay, what’s wrong with you? You’re not even laughing. This is adorable!” Mark got up and stood dangerously close to Youngjae. “Did something happen at work? Is someone bothering you?” 

Oh fuck it. 

“Something happened.” He started pacing back and forth, how should he start this? “Sit, this might be long.” And Mark did as he was told. 

He’s just going to come out and say it. There’s no other way. Mark isn’t going to like Youngjae breaking up with him, so might as well tell him about Jaebum and just get it over with. 

“It’s about Jaebum,” Youngjae saw Mark’s eyebrow shoot up. “Last week I found out he’s working at the same company.” Mark was silent, but that was expected of him. He’s calm and he thinks things through, but Youngjae still had that 1% chance of doubt that he will get angry right away playing at the back of his mind. “We talked,” he watched Mark carefully, he was still calm, looking at him carefully. Eyes calculating every word. “He explained things,” Mark’s fists dug into the mattress. 

“What did he explain?” his voice was calm, the opposite of his fists, twisting the bed sheets. “How he broke your heart? How he broke your trust?” his voice became an octave louder, and Youngjae began to feel a little wary. 

“He had his reasons,” Youngjae’s voice on the other hand, was small. 

“Oh yea? Enlighten me!” Youngjae really didn’t have to tell him. It wasn’t his business to worry about. Sure, they’d been dating for a few months, but it wasn’t like they were in love. He knows Mark has a lot of love to give, but he couldn’t understand why he hated Jaebum so much when he never even met the guy. He really didn’t even know that much about him. He only knew that they were best friends and that he broke Youngjae’s heart. He didn’t know the intimate details, the long nights they spent just playing with each other’s hands. Or the nights they would just lazily kiss on Youngjae’s bed. He didn’t know and he could never understand that what they had was something you could never forget about, even after five years. Even after ten years. 

“All you need to know is that I want to make it work with him,” Mark chuckled and shook his head, he let Coco out of his lab. 

“Really? So what, we’re breaking up? All because he showed up in your life again? All it takes is what, a few days and you go running back to him? After what he did to you?” Mark was standing now, and he was yelling. Youngjae has never seen him like this, he wanted to calm him down, but he didn’t know how he could at this moment. He knew Mark is angry, he didn’t want to let him go. He tried so hard to get Youngjae to say yes to go out on a date, and he tried even harder to get them to keep the dates going. Youngjae didn’t want to, he didn’t want to get involved in a relationship, the longest he’s gone after Jaebum was a few nights in a week with the same person. Because people leave, and they forget, and he didn’t want to get attached to anyone again. 

“I’m sorry Mark,” and it was the best he could offer him. 

“Yea, whatever.” He scoffed and left the room. Leaving Youngjae alone in their room, feeling empty. He thought about calling Jaebum and telling him about what happened, but he thought it would be best to leave it until the morning. 

He took Mark’s seat on the bed, in all honesty, he expected Mark to fight for him. To yell even more, but he just…accepted it. 

Coco came to the rescue, sensing that there is something wrong. He hugged her tiny body and ruffled her hair.

A few minutes later he heard the front door slamming and figured it was Mark going out for some air.

He felt bad, he really did. Mark has been there for him a lot. He’s done so much for him, and Youngjae just…he was so eager to replace him as soon as Jaebum came back into his life. If he looked at it from Mark’s point of view, it would look as if Youngjae might not have cared about him at all, he would think that Youngjae would rather have Jaebum, who broke his heart, than be with Mark who did nothing but treat him right and has done nothing but make him feel at ease and at home. He would rather choose a jerk over Mark and Mark had every right to be angry. 

But Youngjae loved Jaebum. What could he do, really?

**

When Youngjae woke up the next morning, he found Coco laying next to him sleeping soundly and Mark not in their room. He checked the rest of the apartment and didn’t find him, so he sent out a few texts to Mark’s friends wondering if he stayed at their places. When he got a response, he was able to relax a little. 

He got dressed and headed to work. Where he’ll see Jaebum. Where he can kiss him, and have his arms around him.

And when he arrived at work, he didn’t bother stopping by his office at first. He headed straight to Jaebum’s and from the window he saw him typing away on his computer and he smiled to himself. 

There he was; the man he was in love with. He was so incredibly alluring just in that position alone and Youngjae felt his heart skip a few beats when Jaebum’s eyes landed on his. For a moment, he felt like a creep just looking at Jaebum through his office window, but that soon passed when he opened the door and Jaebum gave him a big smile that truly brightened the room. 

“Good morning, Bummie,” Youngjae walked around the desk to give his Bummie a kiss. It felt so, so good to think like that. _His Bummie_. Jaebum pulled him down so that Youngjae sat on his lap and he wrapped both hands around him, pulling him closer. 

“Good morning, Jae.” He stroked Youngjae’s hair and purred in his ear. Youngjae hugged him, tightly, and Jaebum chuckled. “What’s that for?”

“I miss you so much, I want to hug you all the time from now on!” He kissed his hair and his cheeks and his jaw, and saved his lips for last. 

Jaebum laughed, and Youngjae felt his lungs open up.

“I love that laugh, I love you! I love your face, and your hair, and your arms, and your legs and your everything. I love you,” he kissed him anywhere he could, “I love you,” another kiss, “I love you,” another kiss. And Jaebum kept laughing. 

“Okay, okay,” he managed to say in between getting his breathing in order. The smile that played on Youngjae’s lips couldn’t be helped. “I love you too!” he pecked Youngjae’s nose. 

Youngjae got up, figuring that Jaebum’s legs must be hurting by now. “I broke up with Mark,” he said as he leaned against the desk. 

“You did?!” Jaebum pressed his lips and nodded carefully. “What happened? Are you hurt?”

“I told you he wouldn’t hut me, he’s a martial arts instructor and he probably could if he wanted to, but he wouldn’t hurt me. But we talked and things got heated and then he left and he hasn’t gotten back to our place yet.”

“Is he picking up the phone?”

“No, but I got in touch with one of his friends and he’s over at their place.”

“So, what happens now?” he rested his hand on the desk, and Youngjae reached out to lace his fingers with Jaebum’s. 

“I don’t know. I probably need to look for an apartment, I don’t think he wants me to stay in our current one since it’s technically his…” 

“Move in with me!” The words came out of Jaebum’s mouth so fast, Youngjae though someone else was in the room with them. “Come on, we’d be great roommates!” The wink that Jaebum gave was tempting him, but they just found each other again, should they really be doing this…

“I don’t know… Do you think we should? After all that time…” 

Jaebum got up from his chair and positioned himself between Youngjae’s legs. “Of course! Come on Youngjae,” he brushed his cheek with the back of his hand. “It’ll be like old times, remember when we would have sleepovers?” Jaebum said this and Youngjae started blushing furiously. “So you do remember, then.” Jaebum chuckled and gave Youngjae’s forehead a kiss. “I’m here for you, until the end.” At this, Youngjae gave Jaebum a big smile. “Until I’m old and gray,” that made Youngjae laugh. “Until I can’t pee on my own anymore,” and that got him to laugh even harder and louder. “So, what do you say?” 

“You make a tempting offer, old man” Jaebum raised his eyebrow, Youngjae has not changed one bit. Sarcasm ready to fall off his tongue in any given moment. “I’ll think about it,” he said as he removed Jaebum’s hands from his waist and pushed himself off the desk. 

Jaebum took a step back and Youngjae started to move towards the door, but Jaebum was quicker, he got a hold of his hand and turned him around. Whispering in his ear “We can fuck any time we want. We can be as dirty and as filthy as you want, and you can be as loud as you want.” Youngjae felt Jaebum’s breath tickle his ear, his hands solid on his hips keeping him in place. “My place is sound proof, I want to hear you scream for me.” He smirked and raised his eyebrow at the last statements and bit on his bottom lip, and they looked delicious. He knew by the look Youngjae was casting his way that the younger boy wanted to kiss him as much as Jaebum wanted to kiss him. But Jaebum knew that they had to talk bout things. 

“’We can be as dirty and as filthy as _I_ want’?” Youngjae scoffed. “Do you want me to remind you of what we did back then? What _you_ would suggest that you do to me? Or what I should do to you?” 

“I’m totally innocent!” Jaebum held up his hands in defense. “You were the kinky one,” he pulled Youngjae closer again, Youngjae yelped and Jaebum smirked, “And it was hot!” He gave him a sloppy kiss, and Youngjae loved it, soft moans escaping from that beautiful throat. His hands didn’t know where to rest, he wanted to touch Youngjae’s everything, every square inch of his body. So he started to unbutton Youngjae’s shirt, and his bare skin peeked out. Jaebum broke the kiss and just looked at his Jae, his bare chest and his moles staring right at him, he wanted to kiss every single mole on Youngjae’s beautiful body. He wanted to kiss and love every part of him as if the world would end tomorrow.

Youngjae brought Jaebum’s face to his level and he gave him a sweet and light kiss that Jaebum honestly thought that he would melt right on the spot.

“Your window is clear; people could have seen us kissing!” Youngjae looked so good with his messy hair and his messy clothes.

“You weren’t worried bout that before,” he fiddled with Youngjae’s shirt collar and straightened it. 

“What am I going to do about Mark?” 

He sighed, “I don’t know.” He rubbed his eyes, he didn’t want to think about Youngjae’s boyfriend. He only wanted to touch and kiss and love his Jae. “You should have a plan,” he knows there’s no need for one, but there was always a chance that maybe Jaebum’s right. He walked to the water cooler, because his throat felt dry and he didn’t want Youngjae to see his frustration. He just wanted things to be over already. He wanted Youngjae in his home, wanted to wake up to him playing with his hair.

“I don’t need a plan with Mark,” maybe he doesn’t… At this, Jaebum raised his eyebrows unimpressed. “With Mark, things just come out from the heart. I didn’t plan on what to tell him last night, I was very nervous, but I didn’t plan it.”

“Yea and it made him storm out of the house,” Youngjae hung his head low. Maybe there was another way things could’ve turned out better and lead to Mark staying and them working things out “Baby,” he walked closer and stroked Youngjae’s hair, “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I know,” he nodded. “But I already had one person walk away from me, wouldn’t want to add to the list.”

“I said I’m sorry,” his voice was small, unlike a few moments before.

Youngjae’s hands reached up to Jaebum’s face and he gave him a small kiss. “I know.”

**

On the way back from the bathroom, Jaebum saw Jinyoung in the halls. 

“Good morning?” he asked with a smirk. 

“Uh, yea... Yea. You?”

“Same old, same old.” He shrugged. “You, though, it looked like you have a _very_ good morning.” 

Jaebum rolled his eyes, and Jinyoung laughed, making the corners of his eyes crinkle. 

“So you saw,” he sighed. 

“A lot of people saw.” He wondered how Jinyoung was okay with this given his feelings for Jaebum. 

“You’re okay with that?” he was confused with at the beginning, but he started to understand. 

“I will be,” he pressed his lips and kept walking to where he was heading. 

Jaebum hoped he will be. 

**

When he reached home, Youngjae found Mark on the kitchen floor feeding Coco. He didn’t even spare a glance towards him. 

“You’re home!” Youngjae went to the kitchen and sat next to Mark and petted Coco.

“I am,” he didn’t look at Youngjae and it hurt. But he was calm, so Youngjae was thankful for that.

“Can we talk about yesterday?”

“Yea,” he sighed and got off the floor and Youngjae followed him to the living room. 

When they sat on their couch, Youngjae began. “So yes-“

“Youngjae,” Mark took his hands in his, “It’s okay.” Mark went on when he saw Youngjae confused, “I get it. You and Jaebum had what we would’ve never had no matter how hard we tried. No matter how hard I tried. I’m okay with that now. I’ve actually known it for a while but I didn’t want to admit to it.” His thumb stroked Youngjae’s palm and he looked so calm it kind of scared Youngjae.

“So, you’re okay with this?”

“As okay as I’ll ever be,” he pressed his lips and looked at their feet. Youngjae felt his heart tearing, Mark really didn’t deserve someone as shitty as Youngjae.

“I’m sorry,” what else could he say?

“It’s okay. I could never compete with him. The first time you told me about him I knew that we wouldn’t last. You just,” he raised his hand and brushed Youngjae’s hair out of his eyes, “you look so different when you talk about him, it’s like he never hurt you at all, or like you never even believed that he did what he did.” He chuckled to himself, keeping his head down. “It was so silly of me to know this and still hope that I could change your mind and make you forget him.” 

“But it’s okay, Youngjae. Don’t feel bad about any of this. I’ve always wanted you to be happy, and this won’t change that.”

“I’m sorry I did this to you, Mark.” And he really is sorry, he took six months away from him. He could’ve found someone that loved him back the way he loves so freely. 

“Don’t worry about me.” His hand came up under Youngjae’s jaw, made him look him in the eyes. “You tried your best, and it didn’t work out. It’s okay. Good luck, with all of it. And if he hurts you, use the moves I taught you!” Youngjae chuckled in this serious moment, and Mark smiled at the sight. He sighed, and moved away from Youngjae. “I love you, Youngjae. I really hope you guys work out.” He gave Youngjae’s hand a squeeze and left for their room. 

Youngjae was glad that this went smoothly, he expected a lot of yelling and screaming. Mark can get jealous pretty easily, and he’s gotten petty over things in the past and eventually let them go but it takes him a while, but now… Now he’s calm and accepting this fast? 

Maybe it really does show on Youngjae’s face when he mentions Jaebum how in love he is with him…

A few hours later of sitting in the living room and not daring to go check on Mark, Youngjae decided he would go and pick up dinner. It’d give him some time to breathe, and he wanted to call Jaebum. “Mark, I’m going to pick up dinner,” he yelled as he got his shoes on. His phone buzzed and Mark had sent him a text instead of simply just telling Youngjae what he wanted. “We’re in the same house, Mark!” he yelled as he made his way out of the apartment.

While he waited, he called “Bum Bum”. 

“Miss me already?”

Youngjae snorted, “So _anyway_ ,” he heard Jaebum laughing on the other end and he couldn’t help the soft laughter that escaped him. “Me and Mark are over,” he held his breath for any sort of indicator of a celebration from Jaebum. 

But it never came, he sighed and said “I’m sorry, Jae.” 

“Me too,” and he really was. He felt like a selfish ass for holding on to Mark just because he didn’t want to be lonely. “He seemed okay with it though.” 

“Come over tonight,” Jaebum’s voice lowered a few octaves, and he spoke slower. If Youngjae’s memory worked right, it meant Jaebum is in the mood. 

“I can’t. I’m getting dinner for me and Mark.” He wanted to go to Jaebum and do his favorite activity with the love of his life, but the least thing he could do is feed Mark since he promised him. 

“Baby,” it was almost a whisper. “Please.” 

His cheeks heated up, the image of Jaebum laying in bed with his eyes closed and moaning for Youngjae made him want to run out of the restaurant. Forgetting that he even made an order and it would have been ready if he wasn’t so horny on the thought of Jaebum getting off on his voice. He could go for a little while… It’s still early for dinner, he had time…

And technically Youngjae is single so he doesn’t have to feel guilty about anything…

“…give me ten minutes!” 

**

He stepped off the elevator and tried to calm his beating heart. He’s nervous! He could’ve gotten in about ten accidents on the way here! He wanted him. He wanted him so badly! 

He rang the door bell and he heard a soft meow from inside. And when the door opened, his mouth fell open. Jaebum’s undercut hair was messy and it looked incredible, he wore a loose tank top that showed off his arms and those damn shoulders, and he had basketball shorts on. He looked so good, but Youngjae didn’t have time to comment on that, he was being pulled inside the apartment and getting attacked with kisses. And he didn’t mind. Not one bit. 

Youngjae kissed Jaebum back with every ounce he had, he kissed him with all his will. He kissed him and he wanted to inhale him, he missed him so much. Too much. And then Jaebum took his hand and practically ran to his room. He closed the door so Nora wouldn’t come in and he pushed Youngjae on the bed, Youngjae laughing at Jaebum’s and how needy he’s being, and Jaebum looking at him like he’s a starving man in the Sahara Desert and Youngjae was a tall and cold glass of water! And honestly, Youngjae shivered under Jaebum’s gaze. He’s only seen Jaebum like this a handful of times. He’s always been playfully horny, but now, now it seems as if Youngjae is his saving grace. 

He crawled on top of Youngjae and gave him slow kisses, so unlike the ones he was met with at the door. But it was okay, Jaebum can take his time. He can do whatever he wants. 

“I miss you so much!” he said between kisses down Youngjae’s chest. “I miss your moles,” he watched as Jaebum kissed them all. 

“Bummie,” he wanted him to kiss him instead of the moles. He already misses his lips. Jaebum hummed as he unbuckled Youngjae’s jeans, “Kiss me again.” 

“Anything for you, baby,” he looked up at him and smirked. He kissed him and kissed him until their lips were burning and Youngjae loved Jaebum like this, hair messy from his tugging while they kissed, his lips red from the contact, his face flushed because of _him_. He forgot how good it felt to make Im Jaebum blush, the ladies man Im Jaebum. He loved how Jaebum totally lost power under his control.

He overpowered Jaebum when he wasn’t looking, brushing his hair and smiling at Youngjae, and straddled him. “Anything?” he smirked, holding Jaebum’s arms in place above his head.

“ _Anything_ ,” he whispered. “I’m yours,” he raised his hips against Youngjae and Youngjae watched Jaebum bite his lips. “Anything you want.”

"You're mine," so Youngjae got a little brave and got off of Jaebum and flipped him over so he was laying on his stomach and straddled him again. “You’re gonna love it! I promise,” he kissed his ear lobe and worked his way down his back. 

**

When Jaebum woke up the next morning he felt a weight on his chest and something around his stomach. He rubbed his eyes and got a better look, and he felt like the happiest man on earth! He saw Youngjae sleeping on his chest with his hand laid across his stomach. He couldn’t believe the night he had! He had Youngjae back! His Jae is back in his arms and he feels the same way about him as Jaebum has felt since their high school years. He smiled to himself, because this was amazing, snuggled closer and wrapped his arms around him, kissed Youngjae’s hair and went back to sleep. 

He was woken up by soft lips on his cheeks. “Good morning, Bummie!” Jaebum missed that loud voice, he missed the happiness it brought along with it at every moment of the day. 

“Good morning, Jae,” he gave him a soft kiss. 

And they stayed in bed like that for about an hour, just kissing lazily and giggling about actually being together at last. Jaebum admitted that he’s wanted Youngjae to do that to him for a long time, but didn’t want to know how to ask and every time it comes up he would get defensive and say no. But he loved it, he loved Youngjae and everything Youngjae does. 

He’s so in love with him that he held him back when he tried to get out of bed to go back home. “Come on, JB.”

“No, stay with me.” Jaebum wasn’t good with acting cute, but he’ll try anything to get a naked Youngjae back in bed with him. “Pleaseeeeee babe,” he frowned. 

“You’re not cute, you know.” 

“You’re not funny, you know,” Jaebum mocked.

“No, but I’m cute as hell though!” 

“Very true,” he pulled him back into bed and Youngjae fell with a soft thud. “So, so, so cute.” He nosed Youngjae’s neck, “My cute Jae.” He kissed his throat, “My cute sunshine.” His mouth traveled behind Youngjae’s ear and came back around to Youngjae’s lips, “Mine!” and he kissed him for God knows how long. “Mine,” he showered kisses from his lips to his chest. “Baby, you’re mine. I'll never let you go. ”

“I’m y-yours,” he heard Youngjae softly choke out. “Forever yours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! This is the end :) I hope you enjoyed what I wrote even just a bit :)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it!
> 
> find me on tumblr @ 2jaekisses :) 
> 
> I hope you guys like it!!!


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